Sh*t scooterists hear

gr8dog · Post by **gr8dog** » Sat Jan 28, 2012 3:17 am

This is meant as a companion to Eric's "Sh*t scooterist's say" thread....

Can you go on the highway with that thing?

How fast does it go?

Ha ha ha!

Sorry! I didn't see you there.

What's your mileage?

It looks like a toy.

Did you ride your Buddy in today? (I get this one at work every time it snows. After three years they haven't figured out... it STILL aint funny!)

You rode here, on THAT!

Wanna race?

Hey, nice Buddy!

I like big tires better.

ravenlore · Post by **ravenlore** » Sat Jan 28, 2012 4:01 am

"You're gonna get chains put on (for winter), right?"

inspyre5 · Post by **inspyre5** » Sat Jan 28, 2012 4:52 am

"Why do you need a full-face helmet? It's just a scooter"

Lotrat · Post by **Lotrat** » Sat Jan 28, 2012 5:10 am

"How did you get that scooter here?"
I guess many Californians have never heard the term "surface streets" before.

It's then followed up with, "You can take suface streets to get here?"

Then, "I can't picture you on that."
At which point I sit on it and tell them to take a picture.

Next is, "Why don't you just get a motorcycle?"
To which I reply, "Why don't you?"
And they say, "My wife won't let me."
I then close with, "And you're calling me a dork? At least I'm not a ______."
Good times.

Skootz Kabootz · Post by **Skootz Kabootz** » Sat Jan 28, 2012 5:16 am

"You rode it to where???"
(Often shortly followed by EricAlm saying "How many #$#*&^%$ times are you going to tell that story??? )

bigbropgo · Post by **bigbropgo** » Sat Jan 28, 2012 6:59 am

" much better ways to die than to ride that thing".

Lokky · Post by **Lokky** » Sat Jan 28, 2012 7:01 am

While in Maryland for a convention

"Hey man how come you have Virginia tags on that thing?"

Howardr · Post by **Howardr** » Sat Jan 28, 2012 2:07 pm

Hey! Pull a wheelie!"

Howard

still shifting · Post by **still shifting** » Sat Jan 28, 2012 3:15 pm

"My Uncle, (Brother, Father, Grandpa...) had one of those things, I think it still around somewhere, in the barn, (basement, shed, chicken coop... ) back home in..... some where obscure, distant and unlikely. R

pdxrita · Post by **pdxrita** » Sat Jan 28, 2012 7:08 pm

- You ride a scooter? Oh, like "beep, beep?"
- How fast can that thing go? .... Really?!?!?
- (After riding in rain and cold, from guy with new Harley) You're hard core!
- I rode a scooter once. Crashed it into some bushes and broke my wrist (given as a cautionary tale, apparently)

DanielPerrin · Post by **DanielPerrin** » Sat Jan 28, 2012 7:49 pm

You don't need a full parking space for that. / You shouldn't use a full parking space.

That sounds like a REAL horn. (as though they expected something wimpy)

No man would ride a toy like that.

Witch · Post by **Witch** » Sat Jan 28, 2012 7:51 pm

I get "What do you do when it rains?!?" all the time.

I just tell them I get wet, like everything else outside does when it rains.

Depending on how the rest of my day is going, there's a chance I may even get a bit grumpy about it.

Howardr · Post by **Howardr** » Sat Jan 28, 2012 8:14 pm

still shifting wrote:"My Uncle, (Brother, Father, Grandpa...) had one of those things, I think it still around somewhere, in the barn, (basement, shed, chicken coop... ) back home in..... some where obscure, distant and unlikely. R

Funny you should mention that. I went to our shop yesterday and they had a faded, slightly rusted Lambretta. It seems a lady was in rural Arizona "picking" and asked a farmer if he had anything for sale. They looked in his barn and there was this Lambretta with license plates that expired in "85. She offered him $900 and he said
"Lady, if you can get it out of here, you CAN HAVE IT."

Amazing, but true.

Howard

Tocsik · Post by **Tocsik** » Sat Jan 28, 2012 8:21 pm

"When are you going to get a 'real' motorcycle?"

JHScoot · Post by **JHScoot** » Sat Jan 28, 2012 8:23 pm

"is it a shifty?"

"its nice for a girls bicycle"

Post by **illnoise** » Sun Jan 29, 2012 1:02 am

I submit Jeff Lillie's immortal "Gas Station Answers for Gas Station Questions"

http://www.2strokebuzz.com/features/052500.html

TVB · Post by **TVB** » Sun Jan 29, 2012 1:47 am

"You'll outgrow a 50cc in a month." (see also: Sh*t Scooterists Say)

Tenchi · Post by **Tenchi** » Sun Jan 29, 2012 4:08 am

When do you have to get it back to your wife?

rkcoker · Post by **rkcoker** » Sun Jan 29, 2012 4:07 pm

"Aren't you cold?"
"Yuk! Yuk! You wouldn't catch me on that!"

KABarash · Post by **KABarash** » Sun Jan 29, 2012 4:12 pm

"How can you ride that thing this time of year?"

My answer:
"Sitting squarely on the seat as usual."

MYSCTR · Post by **MYSCTR** » Mon Jan 30, 2012 1:11 am

ok - duped from the other thread...

“They are really neat – and get like 100 mpg don’t they” (heard this weekend from my MSF instructor in front of the whole class).

rkcoker · Post by **rkcoker** » Mon Jan 30, 2012 10:11 pm

I couldn't tell if the person was serious or not:
"Your headlight's on! I didn't want your battery to get drained."

bluebuddygirl · Post by **bluebuddygirl** » Mon Jan 30, 2012 11:11 pm

My favorite, " Do you get hit a lot?"

Post by **ericalm** » Tue Jan 31, 2012 3:21 am

Skootz Kabootz wrote:"You rode it to where???"
(Often shortly followed by EricAlm saying "How many #$#*&^%$ times are you going to tell that story??? )

What?!? I do that?!?

SYMbionic Duo · Post by **SYMbionic Duo** » Wed Feb 01, 2012 12:35 am

the one that i hate
"How is a scooter like a fat chick?"

Where do these idiots come from?

siobhan · Post by **siobhan** » Fri Feb 03, 2012 12:07 am

"Wow, your jacket is really heavy."

"Man, this jacket is heavy."

"Why is your jacket so heavy?"

"Oh, it has armour? Wow, that's cool. Can you survive a bullet?"

"Isn't it hot?"

"Wow, that's bright!"

and my favorite:

"You're a badass!" [said by the enduro rider at work, every time he sees me and it's freezing cold, there's snow on the ground, or it's pissing down with rain]

scootavaran · Post by **scootavaran** » Fri Feb 03, 2012 12:11 am

Atleast someone has enough balls to be unique.
(Sadly i wasnt to me. overheard it from a lady talking about another scooter rider in a parking lot)

pugbuddy · Post by **pugbuddy** » Fri Feb 03, 2012 1:14 am

"WE LOVE YOUR SCOOTER!" -- two high school girls yelling out their car window from the other lane while sitting in traffic.

AWinn6889 · Post by **AWinn6889** » Fri Feb 03, 2012 3:35 pm

"What up scooter bitch!?" --Two high school boys yelling at me from their bus stop... every single morning I leave for work.

ravenlore · Post by **ravenlore** » Fri Feb 03, 2012 7:25 pm

AWinn6889 wrote:"What up scooter bitch!?" --Two high school boys yelling at me from their bus stop... every single morning I leave for work.

Dammit, does that mean I have to stop using #ScooterBitch as a hashtag when I post stuff about scooters/scootering?

AWinn6889 · Post by **AWinn6889** » Fri Feb 03, 2012 7:30 pm

ravenlore wrote:
AWinn6889 wrote:"What up scooter bitch!?" --Two high school boys yelling at me from their bus stop... every single morning I leave for work.
Dammit, does that mean I have to stop using #ScooterBitch as a hashtag when I post stuff about scooters/scootering?

Lol no, I would rather not be referred to as "Scooter Bitch" by highschool boys... so it's all yours

pugbuddy · Post by **pugbuddy** » Fri Feb 03, 2012 11:55 pm

AWinn6889 wrote:"What up scooter bitch!?" --Two high school boys yelling at me from their bus stop... every single morning I leave for work.

Well, that's just unkind!

PeterC · Post by **PeterC** » Sat Feb 04, 2012 6:49 pm

AWinn6889 wrote:"What up scooter bitch!?" --Two high school boys yelling at me from their bus stop... every single morning I leave for work.

I'd rather be a Scooter Bitch than a Bus Baby.

viney266 · Post by **viney266** » Sat Feb 04, 2012 8:54 pm

PeterC wrote:
AWinn6889 wrote:"What up scooter bitch!?" --Two high school boys yelling at me from their bus stop... every single morning I leave for work.
I'd rather be a Scooter Bitch than a Bus Baby.

+1 HAHAHAHA

"You REALLY ride that"... I'm 6'3"

michelle_7728 · Post by **michelle_7728** » Sun Feb 05, 2012 5:43 am

rkcoker wrote:I couldn't tell if the person was serious or not:
"Your headlight's on! I didn't want your battery to get drained."

Or, in the case of my MP3 250, "One of your headlights is out" (one headlight does low beam, and the other does high beam, like some motor cycles).

Wheelz · Post by **Wheelz** » Sun Feb 05, 2012 3:45 pm

"Damn That little F**cker is fast!" Said to me last nite by a guy on a bergman 400, at the gas station, I was on the 123....

Chilly · Post by **Chilly** » Sun Feb 05, 2012 3:56 pm

"you want to sell it?" about once a week I get this.
"what do you do when it rains" -I get wet.
"why do you have a Full face helmet on a scooter?" because the pavement doesn't care what's between my legs. (not to mention the bugs, rain and random objects-cigerette butts ect...).
"how fast does it go?" 65mph"no no no, I meant how fast, I know it gets good gas milage" 65mph, 80 mpg, and then "you want to sell it? again

AWinn6889 · Post by **AWinn6889** » Mon Feb 06, 2012 10:57 pm

Chilly wrote:"you want to sell it?" about once a week I get this.
"what do you do when it rains" -I get wet.
"why do you have a Full face helmet on a scooter?" because the pavement doesn't care what's between my legs. (not to mention the bugs, rain and random objects-cigerette butts ect...).
"how fast does it go?" 65mph"no no no, I meant how fast, I know it gets good gas milage" 65mph, 80 mpg, and then "you want to sell it? again

I finally met one of my best friends' girlfriend for the first time last week, and she rides a Ninja. She asked about my "Vespa" after listening to me talk to a friend I hadn't seen in a while, so I showed her a couple of pictures I had on my phone and explained that it wasn't a Vespa... and she says "It must be nice to not have to wear any serious gear on it, huh?" We just looked at her dumbfoundedly and I said "How is it any different if I lay my scooter down going 60mph, from you laying your Ninja down at 60mph, or Tom laying his Sportster down at 60mph? It's not. I have to wear serious gear just like you do, it's not a toy."
...We didn't talk for the rest of the night, and now I know why she never comes out of the house to hang out with us. She's not exactly the brightest crayon in the box... ...and most of us have a low tolerance for dummies.

neotrotsky · Post by **neotrotsky** » Tue Feb 07, 2012 8:47 pm

A few that I have re-heard this past week. Most were the same old thing:

-"Hey, you like, need a driver's license for that?"

-(while at a stoplight as the car I overtook pulls up) "Get that piece of shit off the road! Mopeds are too slow for real frak traffic!". Did I mention that it was a nearly new BMW 320?

-"Isn't it cold?" 6:30 AM at a Chevron. 41 degrees.

-Dumb bimbo in a drop top Miata turbo blowing through several yellow lights before nearly sideswiping me meet up at a light: "Hey, that's not safe! You can get killed on something so small!"

I weep for society...

SYMbionic Duo · Post by **SYMbionic Duo** » Wed Feb 08, 2012 12:05 am

"Hey, can i get a ride? I'll give you 5 bucks." 6'4"-6'6" guy walking out of the darkness @ 11:30pm at a gas station w/ my Blackjack.

TVB · Post by **TVB** » Wed Feb 08, 2012 12:23 am

SYMbionic Duo wrote:"Hey, can i get a ride? I'll give you 5 bucks." 6'4"-6'6" guy walking out of the darkness @ 11:30pm at a gas station w/ my Blackjack.

He wasn't talking about your scooter.

scootavaran · Post by **scootavaran** » Wed Feb 08, 2012 12:29 am

TVB wrote:
SYMbionic Duo wrote:"Hey, can i get a ride? I'll give you 5 bucks." 6'4"-6'6" guy walking out of the darkness @ 11:30pm at a gas station w/ my Blackjack.
He wasn't talking about your scooter.

Hahahaha ewwwwwww

But really that would freak me out if that happened to me.

SYMbionic Duo · Post by **SYMbionic Duo** » Wed Feb 08, 2012 12:34 am

i tried telling him that the bike barley fit me, but he was still insistent that he could fit.

So i gave him a ride on my blackjack, if for no other reason, than it made a good story.

BootScootin'FireFighter · Fri Feb 10, 2012 2:59 am

(after clearly seeing it parked inside the engine bay)... "so, did you ride your moped in to work today?"

No dumbass, I took the bus and Casper rode my "scooter" in for me.

Tom · Post by **Tom** » Sat Feb 11, 2012 6:15 pm

DanielPerrin wrote:You don't need a full parking space for that. / You shouldn't use a full parking space.

I hate this one! Been told that by a driver too. As if I could share with them! I looked around the parking lot and said, "Where would you suggest I park?" No good answer to that question.

P.Blackthorne · Post by **P.Blackthorne** » Sat Feb 11, 2012 11:01 pm

Tom wrote:
DanielPerrin wrote:You don't need a full parking space for that. / You shouldn't use a full parking space.
I hate this one! Been told that by a driver too. As if I could share with them! I looked around the parking lot and said, "Where would you suggest I park?" No good answer to that question.

I like to argue with them that, had I driven a car all by myself, I'd have been taking up the same amount of space as if I had ridden the scooter by myself. The only difference being that I would have wasted a lot more gas and had a lot less fun.
People need to think before opening their mouths.

AWinn6889 · Post by **AWinn6889** » Mon Feb 13, 2012 10:55 pm

P.Blackthorne wrote:
Tom wrote:
DanielPerrin wrote:You don't need a full parking space for that. / You shouldn't use a full parking space.
I hate this one! Been told that by a driver too. As if I could share with them! I looked around the parking lot and said, "Where would you suggest I park?" No good answer to that question.
I like to argue with them that, had I driven a car all by myself, I'd have been taking up the same amount of space as if I had ridden the scooter by myself. The only difference being that I would have wasted a lot more gas and had a lot less fun.
People need to think before opening their mouths.

I usually park my scooter almost perpendicular to the parking space, at the very outward-most part of the space (front/back depending on if you usually pull in or back in) so no one in a car gets any funny ideas about trying to share.
I do, however, leave enough room so that another scooter/motorcycle can fit in the space with mine if they can somehow get back there, but that's mostly because I ALWAYS park in the very first, front row space, here at the mall, and I think it's selfish of mall-workers to take all of the front-row parking. I just don't want to have to worry about my scooter somewhere I can't see it, and that first-front space is right in front of my store.
(Also, I only take that space when I'm on the Bud, I park my car in east bumble hoe-down farthest back corner, because I don't want anyone parking anywhere even remotely close to it.)

Fargo Rollin · Post by **Fargo Rollin** » Wed Feb 15, 2012 2:46 pm

SYMbionic Duo wrote:i tried telling him that the bike barley fit me, but he was still insistent that he could fit.

So i gave him a ride on my blackjack, if for no other reason, than it made a good story.

I take it he didn't have you drop him off in dark alley where his friends then jumped you? But you're right, that's a story I'd like to be able to tell

Uncle Groucho · Post by **Uncle Groucho** » Wed Feb 15, 2012 3:56 pm

SYMbionic Duo wrote:i tried telling him that the bike barley fit me, but he was still insistent that he could fit.

So i gave him a ride on my blackjack, if for no other reason, than it made a good story.

Two weeks ago I had a guy at a gas station asking me to give him a lift up the street.

Didn't think it'd make a good story; he looked stabity.

kooky scientist · Post by **kooky scientist** » Wed Feb 15, 2012 10:09 pm

"Hipster fag !!!" Van full of jocks driving their mom's van.