It started yesterday on the way home from work. I turned onto a undivided three lane with a fourth merging and all of that going down to two. It started out all right and I made it past the merging lane without having to glare at a merging SUV when all of a sudden another SUV in the oncoming lane decided to turn left out of his line of stopped traffic and go into a visitor center. I grabbed the brakes and felt the rear break loose and start to come around so eased off of the foot brake. This was the Honda Helix. I dislike the Helix foot brake in an emergency. Maintained control and yelled through my shield at the passenger whose eyes became as big as plates when she turned her head and saw me. A Ford F250 was behind me and paying attention, thank goodness. I calmed down after putting a curse on the driver and all of his family, present and future. The rest of the commute was uneventful except for the rain at the back of the bayou again.
Today it started in a 35mph zone. I was doing 45 with no traffic anywhere except for the idiot behind me tailgating. I hate that. I know, I know, pull over and let them go by. HELL NO! Deliberately bending towards my mirror I slowed to 35. Still glaring into the mirror he finally got the message and backed off. Back up to 45 and everything was fine until we got to a light and turned onto the four lane. I'm now doing 48 in a 35 with the rest of traffic and the idiot comes around and cuts in front of me with about 3 feet to spare, then changes lanes again and races to the next light. It changed before I got there and he was off again.
I hope the ride home today is better. Think I'll take a different longer route and try to enjoy some scenery. Probably get run over by Farmer Bob on his tractor! Maybe some meditation. Must be calm. OOOOOOOOMMMMMMMM.
Too bad you can't genetically alter Crocs to do about 10mph faster and then train them to respond to panicked bike sounds. That way anytime one heard a cyclist being cut-off or otherwise abused there'd be a swarm of angry crocs flying out of the bayou (with lasers, of course) and making the Sport Futility Vehicles think twice about driving like they're part of a community.
...Awesome... [/scurries off to research genetic alteration of crocs and lightweight laser mounting systems]
Lostmycage wrote:Too bad you can't genetically alter Crocs to do about 10mph faster and then train them to respond to panicked bike sounds. That way anytime one heard a cyclist being cut-off or otherwise abused there'd be a swarm of angry crocs flying out of the bayou (with lasers, of course) and making the Sport Futility Vehicles think twice about driving like they're part of a community.
...Awesome... [/scurries off to research genetic alteration of crocs and lightweight laser mounting systems]
Ohhhhh, I like that! Lasers designed not to kill but to inflict lifelong pain and suffering, leaving scars shaped life scooters!!!
Since you're creating a mutant strain, you could always dabble with bone density. Make 'em much stronger...because, ya know...teeth are just sharp, pointy bones.
Ahem...got caught up in the frickin' laser beams.
Glad you survived all your close calls. Yesterday was... ... ...well, let's just say I didn't have to worry about getting bored.
Welcome to the annual "It's Labor Day, so cram a whole summer's worth of activities into 72 hours and drive around with your head up your a**" festivities.
Saw a funny one yesterday. Was scooting about 10 car lengths behind a Bimmer sedan that was tailgating an open-top bulk hauler carrying a particularly odorous load of mulch. Trunk went under a low overpass that scraped off about two feet of mulch and dumped it all over the tailgating idiot's car.
charlie55 wrote:Welcome to the annual "It's Labor Day, so cram a whole summer's worth of activities into 72 hours and drive around with your head up your a**" festivities.
Saw a funny one yesterday. Was scooting about 10 car lengths behind a Bimmer sedan that was tailgating an open-top bulk hauler carrying a particularly odorous load of mulch. Trunk went under a low overpass that scraped off about two feet of mulch and dumped it all over the tailgating idiot's car.
charlie55 wrote:Welcome to the annual "It's Labor Day, so cram a whole summer's worth of activities into 72 hours and drive around with your head up your a**" festivities.
Saw a funny one yesterday. Was scooting about 10 car lengths behind a Bimmer sedan that was tailgating an open-top bulk hauler carrying a particularly odorous load of mulch. Trunk went under a low overpass that scraped off about two feet of mulch and dumped it all over the tailgating idiot's car.
Hope he had his windows open.
Even if it started as a Bimmer, I think it turned into a bummer. I would pay to see such a site. Oddly enough, that's what I picture in my head anytime I see a tailgater.... being buried in poo!
charlie55 wrote:Saw a funny one yesterday. Was scooting about 10 car lengths behind a Bimmer sedan that was tailgating an open-top bulk hauler carrying a particularly odorous load of mulch. Trunk went under a low overpass that scraped off about two feet of mulch and dumped it all over the tailgating idiot's car.
Hope he had his windows open.
Too bad it wasn't a convertible!
MB#1749 RBC#8
"I have GOT to get me one of THESE!"
--Captain Steven Hiller (Will Smith), Independence Day
Lostmycage wrote:Too bad you can't genetically alter Crocs to do about 10mph faster and then train them to respond to panicked bike sounds. That way anytime one heard a cyclist being cut-off or otherwise abused there'd be a swarm of angry crocs flying out of the bayou (with lasers, of course) and making the Sport Futility Vehicles think twice about driving like they're part of a community.
...Awesome... [/scurries off to research genetic alteration of crocs and lightweight laser mounting systems]
Ohhhhh, I like that! Lasers designed not to kill but to inflict lifelong pain and suffering, leaving scars shaped life scooters!!!
And cross them with zombies and/or lawers. Then they'll be nearly unkillable. That combined with a taste for SUV's, and they'll be perfect!
The rest of the commute was uneventful except for the rain at the back of the bayou again. 
Maybe some meditation. Must be calm. OOOOOOOOMMMMMMMM.
