An open letter to the sportbike rider I encountered today.

[Anachronism]

Dear sportbiking sir,

Thank you. Thank you sir, for changing my world. There I was, mired in ignorance, sitting on my Stella waiting for the light to change, when you took it upon yourself to enlighten me as to the error of my ways.

It was just the forceful, graceful, and dare I say, arousing way that you approached the intersection to make your left turn, while simultaneously pulling in the clutch, flooring your bike, and giving me "the finger" (in the parlance of our time), that got my full, undivided attention and let me see the error of my ways.

The sound of your hacksaw-unmuffled engine surely let everyone within earshot know you were the man in command (don't ask, don't tell, lieutenant!), and it spoke directly to my heart. And your appearance! If only your worn leather jacket could talk and regale me with all of its stories of how your mom accidentally threw it in the washer! And your hair, that would blow so freely in the wind were it not shellacked in a few fistfuls of "product!" Who would dare to suggest head protection, because what god would dare to allow harm to befall YOU?

I have been so, so very wrong. My life is a waste, most notably the parts that involve scootering. Because, when I commute to and from work, I am failing to broadcast to everyone how cool I am, which is the only reason one should venture outside of their house. I can only dream of what I could have done with my life if it was nobly spent riding around on my hacked up, dropped sportbike, bragging about the "bitches" leaving "snail trails" on my back seat, while demonstrating how "hacksawed pipes save lives."

My only true regret is that, no matter how hard I try, I can never truly BE you. I will always come up short in my quest to live up to your standards.

I yearn for you.

Sincerely Yours.

[Keys]

My only true regret is that, no matter how hard I try, I can never truly BE you. I will always come up short in my quest to live up to your standards.

...one can only hope fo fall short...

--Keys

[Lostmycage]

Well penned sir, well penned.

[michelle_7728]

The way the story was going, I thought you were going to say that he ran into the curb or slipped in the gravel or something, after his 'friendly' gesture....

[Kaos]

Priceless Anach Good stuff indeed.

[Skootz Kabootz]

Eloquent indeed. Ride on.

[bigbropgo]

Leaving what on the back seat!?! Nice job. I too have been there. Think he is compensating for something? I think so.

[ciano]

I began the now locked "No Gasoline Scooters" thread on this forum where there seems to be plenty of intra-[scooter]community hostility for novelty and the academic. Given this, the motorcyclist's unfortunate reaction isn't so surprising to me.

[Roose Hurro]

I began the now locked "No Gasoline Scooters" thread on this forum where there seems to be plenty of intra-[scooter]community hostility for novelty and the academic. Given this, the motorcyclist's unfortunate reaction isn't so surprising to me.

Now, now, ciano... play nice!

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[loodieboy]

Beautiful testimony, Anachronism!

I began the now locked "No Gasoline Scooters" thread on this forum where there seems to be plenty of intra-[scooter]community hostility for novelty and the academic. Given this, the motorcyclist's unfortunate reaction isn't so surprising to me.

I get it! You ride a sportbike, don't you?

Edited to note: Wait, that's right. You don't ride.

[beeporama]

you approached the intersection to make your left turn, while simultaneously pulling in the clutch, flooring your bike, and giving me "the finger"

Wait, how is this possible without three hands?

[BuddyRaton]

I began the now locked "No Gasoline Scooters" thread on this forum where there seems to be plenty of intra-[scooter]community hostility for novelty and the academic. Given this, the motorcyclist's unfortunate reaction isn't so surprising to me.

For some reason I don't think the squids are lurking the scooter forums.

[Anachronism]

I began the now locked "No Gasoline Scooters" thread on this forum where there seems to be plenty of intra-[scooter]community hostility for novelty and the academic. Given this, the motorcyclist's unfortunate reaction isn't so surprising to me.

For some reason I don't think the squids are lurking the scooter forums.

Sorry. This fine gentleman flipped the bird after letting the clutch out. Basically Mr. hacksaw exhaust rolled through the left turn lane banging his engine off the rev limiter while staring at me, then slipped out the clutch and gave me the finger while making his left turn. Truly a knight, with a steed that had "only been dropped a few times."

[TVB]

Think he is compensating for something? I think so.

I am. That's why I had to get a 50cc scooter instead of 125cc.

[Anachronism]

I began the now locked "No Gasoline Scooters" thread on this forum where there seems to be plenty of intra-[scooter]community hostility for novelty and the academic. Given this, the motorcyclist's unfortunate reaction isn't so surprising to me.

Cute. I haven't seen any hostility to novelty or the academic here, quite the opposite. We had several good threads about the E-bubu before you arrived.

Frankly, the hostility is aimed at you, not the subject.

Many of us choose to run scooters for the economy and/or the environmental friendliness. Personally, I think it is pretty ironic that you would come here and disparage us over not running electric scooters- wouldn't a Hummer forum be more deserving of getting harangued over their choice of vehicles and damage to the environment? Most of us are trying to be solutions to the problem with a sensible option.

Your approach is like a police chief deciding that the homocide and drug detectives should be reassigned as a jaywalking task force.

[Anachronism]

And let it be said that I have ZERO problems with guys running sportbikes, harleys, or any other vehicle. I give waves and thumbs up to all of them, especially bicyclists.

Just like I understand they chose to ride what they ride with different motivations, I expect a bit of the same.

[jmazza]

I began the now locked "No Gasoline Scooters" thread on this forum where there seems to be plenty of intra-[scooter]community hostility for novelty and the academic. Given this, the motorcyclist's unfortunate reaction isn't so surprising to me.

Ciano: Give it a rest.


Hilarious write up, Anachronism.

[bigbropgo]

Think he is compensating for something? I think so.

I am. That's why I had to get a 50cc scooter instead of 125cc.

Unfortunately for me, I got a problem to the other extreme. I just can't afford a semi-truck.

Nice write up OP.

[TVB]

And let it be said that I have ZERO problems with guys running sportbikes, harleys, or any other vehicle. I give waves and thumbs up to all of them, especially bicyclists.

Just like I understand they chose to ride what they ride with different motivations, I expect a bit of the same.

Exactly: Two Wheels Good. (Except for the jerks.)

[rajron]

When the guy in leather vest, long sleeve shirt, doo rag, blue jeans and leather boots left the north motorcycle parking lot this morning in 31°F weather on his tricked out V-Rod Muscle, spinning those huge 240/40 tires reaching over 60mph in less than a hundred feet for no reason at all, everyone was impressed, but, none of us in the lot at the time could understand why he did that type of exit that is other than to impress the other bikers in the lot, we only cared that his open exhausts hurt our ears. When thinking back on that scene after reading the “Open Letter to the Sport Bike Rider”; that V-Rod rider had no reason other than to impress, and he was lucky not to have been busted by security, for he would have been banished from the site, but, it was very impressive by itself.
To each his own and now I even wish I had a tricked out V-Rod, but it costs nearly 4X more than my scooter and I have a fairly expensive scooter.

[laxer]

And let it be said that I have ZERO problems with guys running sportbikes, harleys, or any other vehicle. I give waves and thumbs up to all of them, especially bicyclists.

Just like I understand they chose to ride what they ride with different motivations, I expect a bit of the same.

Exactly: Two Wheels Good. (Except for the jerks.)

Two wheels good, four wheels bad. All rides are equal, just some rides are more equal than others

And to the whiny baby pants, it's only scooter on scooter hostility if both parties actually ride.

[rsrider]

I've read the OP and still can't figure out why the sportbike rider was irate enough to give him the finger. Was it just because he was on a scooter?

[Kaos]

I've read the OP and still can't figure out why the sportbike rider was irate enough to give him the finger. Was it just because he was on a scooter?

Prolly. I get that from time to time. Hostility JUST because I'm on a scoot....

[BuddyRaton]

I've read the OP and still can't figure out why the sportbike rider was irate enough to give him the finger. Was it just because he was on a scooter?

Prolly. I get that from time to time. Hostility JUST because I'm on a scoot....

F#*K YOU SCOOTER BOY!

[Kaos]

I've read the OP and still can't figure out why the sportbike rider was irate enough to give him the finger. Was it just because he was on a scooter?

Prolly. I get that from time to time. Hostility JUST because I'm on a scoot....

F#*K YOU SCOOTER BOY!

Ohh no, has that become the new "WHY RED IS RED!"

I wear that sentence with pride, since it was earned outrunning a streetbike

[Coffeejunkie]

Reminds me a of a few weeks ago when a guy kept on telling me that I NEED to get a motorcycle because I just couldn't possibly be happy with my scooter.

[Lostmycage]

I've read the OP and still can't figure out why the sportbike rider was irate enough to give him the finger. Was it just because he was on a scooter?

Wait a tick...

Prolly. I get that from time to time. Hostility JUST because I'm on a scoot....

F#*K YOU SCOOTER BOY!

Ohh no, has that become the new "WHY RED IS RED!"

I wear that sentence with pride, since it was earned outrunning a streetbike

I didn't put that together until just now... but I've seen that saying before!

I have no clue what that thing is that's on the shirt... not sure I want to know.

Maybe the finger is a rebellious form of a salute!? Like opposite day...

[loodieboy]

Is the shirt a photoshop or is it really available?

[iMoses]

My wife and I had a similar episode last summer.

3 idiots on crotch-rockets (going the opposite way) made a u-turn about 2 blocks behind us just to zoom past us. At the next light we see them once again... headed in their original direction, laughing at us... until both my wife and I gave them the one-finger salute. We just wanted to let them know that they were number 1 in our book.

[bigbropgo]

Edit:I was responding to a pulled post. Wouldn't make sense anymore.

[loodieboy]

Edit:I was responding to a pulled post. Wouldn't make sense anymore.

No, you aren't alone. I saw it too.

[jmazza]

Edit:I was responding to a pulled post. Wouldn't make sense anymore.

No, you aren't alone. I saw it too.

I'm quick, but I guess not quick enough!

[MrNatural]

In my opinion the original rumination to start the post was suitable for Best of Craig’s List.

[Anachronism]

I've read the OP and still can't figure out why the sportbike rider was irate enough to give him the finger. Was it just because he was on a scooter?

Apparently so. I had been sitting at the light for about 30 seconds before he got there. I don't think he even saw me moving, so it is pretty hard for me to come up with some way that I wronged him, aside from existing, I guess.

[Lostmycage]

Alrighty then. So I removed the hijack (for the second time again) and unlocked this thread. It's clever and pretty light hearted and it made me sad to see it sink down towards the bottom of the page because someone had trouble letting go.

So, We apologize for the fault in the thread-jacking. Those responsible have been sacked.

Let's keep it light hearted and funny. No skullduggery, douchebaggery, malpractice or talk of stupid shi*. Unless it's in a funny way.

Back to your regularly scheduled shenanigans, and all that fluff...

[Skootz Kabootz]

Excellent. Now where were we... ah, yes... well said Anachronism!!

[Roose Hurro]

I've read the OP and still can't figure out why the sportbike rider was irate enough to give him the finger. Was it just because he was on a scooter?

Apparently so. I had been sitting at the light for about 30 seconds before he got there. I don't think he even saw me moving, so it is pretty hard for me to come up with some way that I wronged him, aside from existing, I guess.

For some people, that's reason enough to hate others.

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[Howardr]

I've read the OP and still can't figure out why the sportbike rider was irate enough to give him the finger. Was it just because he was on a scooter?

Apparently so. I had been sitting at the light for about 30 seconds before he got there. I don't think he even saw me moving, so it is pretty hard for me to come up with some way that I wronged him, aside from existing, I guess.

For some people, that's reason enough to hate others.

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I was riding to work one morning and a car pulled up beside me at a light. Guy roles down the window and yells "Hey!.... Hey!..... You're f@#%ing gay, man" and speeds off.
I don't get it. Whatever, though. My scooter is still a helluva lot of fun, in spite of a few knuckleheads. That was just after I got my scooter 18 months ago and nothing like it has happened since.

Howard

[TVB]

I was riding to work one morning and a car pulled up beside me at a light. Guy roles down the window and yells "Hey!.... Hey!..... You're f@#%ing gay, man" and speeds off.

I just wish I had run into that gentleman when I was 13. It would've saved me a few years of confusion if someone had explained it to me that clearly.

[pdxrita]

I was riding to work one morning and a car pulled up beside me at a light. Guy roles down the window and yells "Hey!.... Hey!..... You're f@#%ing gay, man" and speeds off.

I just wish I had run into that gentleman when I was 13. It would've saved me a few years of confusion if someone had explained it to me that clearly.

+1
As a girl on a scooter, I'm just waiting for someone to pull up next to me and yell "you're *&^%ing straight, woman!"... I guess I'd have to get all irate or somethin' if that happened.

[r0sa]

WOW!

its always the gentlemen's on scoots that get harsh remarks

[bpatrick5]

Did this specific Sportbike Rider have a mullet? I only ask because I think there's nothing cooler looking than the party end of a mullet blowing in the wind while riding a wheely down the interstate at 85 MPH. It's so cool, in fact, that my only sighting of this was followed by a police car blowing by me in hot pursuit. I suspect the officer was so impressed that he wanted to get the Sportbike Rider's autograph. Mostly, I just wanted to use the word "mullet" in a post (bucket list check mark).

That being said, where do you all live that you actually catch flack for riding a scooter? I've certainly had some looks, snickers and maybe a finger or two pointed at me, but I haven't had any animosity thrown at me. I wonder what the appropriate response would be? I'd probably just smile and give the politician thumbs-up.

[polianarchy]

WOW!

its always the gentlemen's on scoots that get harsh remarks

I got an unusually high amount of junk yelled at me last week. I say "unusually high" because I get crap called out to me (and also thrown at me) on a fairly regular basis, but it's typically about once a week. Ah, Filth-adelphia. Anyway, one guy told me to "get a REAL bike." I was like, HUHHH??? And then I realized I was living some LOLz:


Then another guy told me I needed the Fat Lane. When I heard him yell that to me at the stoplight, I did this face then this I mean, who says that?! It was just too absurd. So absurd, in fact, when the light turned green, I easily sped my fat ass far away from his motorized vehicle. O, what larks.

[jasondavis48108]

Apparently so. I had been sitting at the light for about 30 seconds before he got there. I don't think he even saw me moving, so it is pretty hard for me to come up with some way that I wronged him, aside from existing, I guess.

For some people, that's reason enough to hate others.

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I was riding to work one morning and a car pulled up beside me at a light. Guy roles down the window and yells "Hey!.... Hey!..... You're f@#%ing gay, man" and speeds off.
I don't get it. Whatever, though. My scooter is still a helluva lot of fun, in spite of a few knuckleheads. That was just after I got my scooter 18 months ago and nothing like it has happened since.

Howard

Yup, I had a group of teens/20s scream faggot at me last summer. I got pissed off something fearce and flipped them off, but I soon realized that I was on a 230lb scooter and they were in a very large old car and had proven themselves completly ignorant. Its really best to jsut ignore it. I think guys on scooters definietly get more flak, maybe its because we are flaunting the fact that we have nothing to prove.

[MrNatural]

I was riding to work one morning and a car pulled up beside me at a light. Guy roles down the window and yells "Hey!.... Hey!..... You're f@#%ing gay, man" and speeds off.

I just wish I had run into that gentleman when I was 13. It would've saved me a few years of confusion if someone had explained it to me that clearly.

+1
As a girl on a scooter, I'm just waiting for someone to pull up next to me and yell "you're *&^%ing straight, woman!"... I guess I'd have to get all irate or somethin' if that happened.

Well, if the loafer fits.........
Actually I've found it highly entertaining when you pretend you can't quite hear what they are saying. This is particularly effective if you have a full-face on. For instance you could say something like "WHAT??? YOU'RE LOOKING FOR A GAY MAN???" You have to really sell it like you're straining to hear and really want to help them. I had one guy repeat about 4x what he was trying to say. Each time you get them to repeat the taunt they seem to realize how absolutely ridiculous they sound.

[jasondavis48108]

I just wish I had run into that gentleman when I was 13. It would've saved me a few years of confusion if someone had explained it to me that clearly.

+1
As a girl on a scooter, I'm just waiting for someone to pull up next to me and yell "you're *&^%ing straight, woman!"... I guess I'd have to get all irate or somethin' if that happened.

Well, if the loafer fits.........
Actually I've found it highly entertaining when you pretend you can't quite hear what they are saying. This is particularly effective if you have a full-face on. For instance you could say something like "WHAT??? YOU'RE LOOKING FOR A GAY MAN???" You have to really sell it like you're straining to hear and really want to help them. I had one guy repeat about 4x what he was trying to say. Each time you get them to repeat the taunt they seem to realize how absolutely ridiculous they sound.

Now that would be funny

idiot: " hey faggot!"

me: " may forget what?"

idiot: " your a faggot!!!"

me: " I forgot what? it my topcase unlocked?

idiot: " F*cking faggot!!!!!!!!"

me: "thank so so much, sometimes I do forget to lock it and its actually very dangerous!"

I'll have to try this next time

[LuvMyScoot]

I get crap called out to me (and also thrown at me) on a fairly regular basis

What??? You get stuff THROWN at you? Anyone who gets stuff thrown at them and refuses to let this dampen their love of scooting is a role model for us all. Set your senses to catch some admiration coming your way from CT!

[Syd]

I get crap called out to me (and also thrown at me) on a fairly regular basis

What??? You get stuff THROWN at you? Anyone who gets stuff thrown at them and refuses to let this dampen their love of scooting is a role model for us all. Set your senses to catch some admiration coming your way from CT!

Ha, it's Philadelphia. they throw iceballs at Santa!

[nissanman]

I'm deeply disturbed that bigbropgo did not get the "trail" reference in the original letter and nobody helped him out! Where's the loving scooter community I know and love? It's simple. When you walk you leave footprints. A snail leaves a snail trail. That's at least one answer my thesaurus gives

[bigbropgo]

i got it, i was just being a jack ass. but yes, nobody pulled me aside and whispered a little secret in my ear. no love for me.

i thought it was funny.....gross, but funny.