On venting and behavior modification

Quo Vadimus · Post by **Quo Vadimus** » Sat Jun 16, 2012 2:21 pm

Fair warning: this is a fairly self-indulgent post. Read at your own risk.

Twice now in the past month I have 'had words' with drivers who endangered my life and disobeyed traffic laws because a) they were in a hurry to get to the traffic stopped 30 m ahead and b) they believed that some kind of emergency was transpiring that required them to text and drive at the same time.

The first time would have been difficult to avoid (the car ended up stopping beside me (in the single lane) once he realized there was nowhere to go, the driver yelling out of his already-open window at me maybe 18 inches away.

The second time I have to admit I took a small detour to pull up beside the car. It wasn't all anger and fury - I wanted the driver to realize that something had happened, and laying on the horn as she merged into my lane while looking down at her phone in the passenger seat, a motorcycle shadowing the entire passenger side window, wasn't enough for her to notice. But certainly a big part of it was the anger and stress reaction that came with having my life threatened by someone who was too selfish to realize it.

But the fact is, I know that, whether I'm yelling because I'm so scared, or making a reasoned argument because someone randomly started telling me how wrong I was, telling these people that their irresponsible behavior could have maimed or killed me won't make them change their ways. She'll probably go into work and talk about how a crazed lunatic on a bike followed her all over town, throwing rocks at her car and banging on the trunk, making hand motions of guns and neck-cutting while drinking from a bottle of jack daniels. She'll file this under 'awful things that happened to me because bikers exist' and won't take a single extra moment to try not to hit someone in the future. If I'm *really* lucky, she'll call the police, tell them that I passed her in that lane at 125mph, turned around while still riding, and exposed myself.

I have to put this down so I can make sure I don't fall into any bad habits (part of what I love about scootering is the zen. I have 4+ years now of a pretty good general record that even in close calls, I let go of the incident almost immediately, because scootering requires me to pay attention to the riding rather than the past - even the immediate past): In 99.99% of cases, I don't think there's any hope of approaching a driver who almost caused me grievous bodily harm and convincing them to admit to themselves that they were in the wrong, and convincing them to do better next time. I think if I want to yell, I should yell. As I turn off down a side street, continue straight as they turn off, or, if I'm really shaking from the adrenaline, once I've pulled safely to a stop. If the odds seem fair I will call the police. Otherwise I'm going to focus on how I am so amazingly skilled and attentive I avoided another close call. For goodness sake, it's like I'm a superhero! It will have been another opportunity presented to show my excellence. Perhaps I will work up a points system, so that instead of thinking I now have to correct some injustice in the world, I can do the math to calculate my new score. I'm going to focus on how I get to keep riding and how wonderful that is. I will not become a representation of biker evil, no matter how 'right' I might be. I am Gandhi. I am the Greensboro Four. These things, like all else, will pass through me and I will still be in the saddle, moving forward. I will leave them behind in a wake of rainbows and road grime. And if I need to vent specifics, I might ask you guys to suffer seeing this topic pop up to the top every now and then. At the worst we can consider it a case study on how often a daily commuter almost gets taken out in a midwestern college town.

Capt_Don · Post by **Capt_Don** » Sat Jun 16, 2012 3:30 pm

I am so sorry, but I laughed, and I agree with you.

I look at it like I am in a P51 and I have Migs flying around me trying to kill me!

pdxrita · Post by **pdxrita** » Sat Jun 16, 2012 3:41 pm

Good rant and I hear you. I do a lot of cursing inside of my helmet. For some reason, the word "jackass", which is not a word I use much else in real life, flies out of my mouth a lot

. You've gotta let it out somewhere and inside of your helmet is a convienient place to do it.

bluebuddygirl · Post by **bluebuddygirl** » Sat Jun 16, 2012 4:57 pm

pdxrita wrote:Good rant and I hear you. I do a lot of cursing inside of my helmet. For some reason, the word "jackass", which is not a word I use much else in real life, flies out of my mouth a lot . You've gotta let it out somewhere and inside of your helmet is a convienient place to do it.

The word jackass always makes me feel a little better, both because I think it is often appropriate to the offenders, and because it kind of cracks me up when I say it.

I got into a shouting match with a guy in a parking lot the other day because he kept pulling out even though I was obviously in front of him. I blew the horn and yelled. He followed me to where I parked, and honestly I couldn't even hear what he was yelling over my own rants. I just kept shouting, "I had the right of way asshole" There were a couple of people around who looked a little frightened/awkward, but I just wouldn't back down. I did stick around before going into the store to make sure he didn't come back and push over my scoot. I felt pretty silly after the whole thing, because obviously that guy didn't get that he was wrong, and I made no impact on that.

k1dude · Post by **k1dude** » Sat Jun 16, 2012 5:31 pm

Capt_Don wrote:I am so sorry, but I laughed, and I agree with you.

I look at it like I am in a P51 and I have Migs flying around me trying to kill me!

That's an awesome visual. Thanks!

k1dude · Post by **k1dude** » Sat Jun 16, 2012 5:55 pm

Some people just suck and will likely always suck.

I was scooting through a parking lot a couple days ago behind 2 cars. We came to a stop because the front car wanted to turn left down a parking aisle and he had an oncoming car he had to wait for. So we were sitting there, two cars and a scooter waiting. This woman starts to pull out of her parking spot right towards the middle stopped car!!! She's about to T-bone him and he starts laying on his horn as his wife almost jumps from the passenger seat into his lap. I also tried to honk my horn but wound up turning on my turn signal instead (again - doh!).

Well, the person in front thinks he's being honked at to turn, so he turns, the middle car starts moving forward to avoid the collision while still honking his horn repeatedly. But to no avail. CRUNCH!

I'm sitting there watching the whole thing in slow mo. I couldn't see if the woman pulling out was even looking, because her windows were tinted. Thankfully I wasn't the middle vehicle!

So the woman gets out and so do the man and woman from the crunched car. The woman at fault starts waving her arms and yelling at the couple that it's their fault. Their mouths drop open and they have this wide-eyed incredulous look on their faces. I knew this wasn't going to go good for the couple. I could tell this crazy woman was going to claim all sorts of wild stuff to her insurance company to try and pin it on the couple.

So I pulled over and gave the couple my name and phone number. When the other woman saw this, she calmed down because she knew she was screwed since they now had a witness. Then I hopped back on and bugged out before she could take down my plate and cause me grief somehow.

But the bottom line about people sucking - How could she even in her wildest dreams try to pin it on the poor couple? I've had that happen to me twice in my life when other people hit my car. Once they managed to have me get the blame and the ticket by lying like hell. The other time they were lying like hell, but the cop was far more attentive to the details of the accident and knew they were lying.

Yes, some people suck.

BuddyRaton · Post by **BuddyRaton** » Sat Jun 16, 2012 6:38 pm

"Shadowing the entire passenger side window"...bad idea...doesn't make the other person right....but putting yourself in danger isn't going to solve anything.

Say out of the blind spots!

gbjbany · Post by **gbjbany** » Sat Jun 16, 2012 7:51 pm

I'm totally with you on the scream ! Expletives if needed, and I generally need them, to the inside of the helmet, is to release the adrenaline rush and ,well, make me feel better.

But i did have a recent texting experience where the super sized suv woman was stopping like 30 feet before the junction , cos I guess she couldn't actually do 2 things at once, and then wandering from lane to lane , so at the next light, I laid on the horn, unfortunately not on my buddy so a bit wimpy, and she still had no idea, so I did it again, I waived my arm at her , whilst screaming to my helmet, and she finally looked up - chin dropped as if to say WHAT ??!!

I carried on and continued muttering , like muttly, all the way home.

So I'm with ya, I really wish chp would take these people's licenses away for a month, it would make them realize, driving without due care and attention is not acceptable rant off

Mousenut · Post by **Mousenut** » Sat Jun 16, 2012 8:07 pm

I will take a phone from a fool. If you risk my life over a phone, the cost is the phone being thrown in a river.

Boy I wish I had the balls to do it for real.

Quo Vadimus · Post by **Quo Vadimus** » Sat Jun 16, 2012 8:51 pm

BuddyRaton wrote:"Shadowing the entire passenger side window"...bad idea...doesn't make the other person right....but putting yourself in danger isn't going to solve anything.

Say out of the blind spots!

Guess I can clarify here without working myself up too much. This was a merging situation. Me riding in the 'real' lane, her driving from the 'disappearing' lane into my lane. By 'shadowing' I mean I would have been occupying the entire screen if her front passenger window was a tv, blocking out all of the sun if it were shining into the window; by passenger side window, I mean front passenger side window, not a blind spot unless you've got a suit hanging from the Oh Shit Bar, which she didn't.

Well, okay. Since she never looked up from her phone, I guess everywhere was a blind spot...

Mutt the Hoople · Post by **Mutt the Hoople** » Sat Jun 16, 2012 9:35 pm

Mousenut wrote:I will take a phone from a fool. If you risk my life over a phone, the cost is the phone being thrown in a river.

Boy I wish I had the balls to do it for real.

How about dirty windshield washing liquid with a dirty squeegee in it at a service station?

The driving in these parts is just abysmal. I'm to the point that I think people just do t give a flying F#%* Twice... Within an hour I heard an emergency vehical. Then I saw it and I pulled over to the curb. The person in from of me did the same. The two people behind me almost CREAMED me because they felt so self important that they used the opportunity to pass everyone who pulled over AND make the emergency vehical have to weave around THEM. Uhm.... I thought it was common knowledge that you pull over on non-divided roads for emergency vehicals. People who talk on cell phones, or text... Most reliable research on the subject now says that they are impaired as much, if not more, than people driving under the influence. So I guess we should assume that at any given moment, 50% or more of the drivers are driving under the influence (of cell phones, drink, drugs... Take your pick). Twice within three hours... On the same street I had a woman (on a cell phone) almost back over me... I was far enough back. She could have seen me IF SHE LOOKED), while I was honking and screaming. Less then three hour later I was waiting at a light. She went over the line making a left hand turn and ran over my foot.... Still yapping away on her cell phone. I pulled into the service station behind her... She distractedly brushed me off as she was doing something "important" and her lack of awareness.... As well as any kind of responsibility for running over my foot resulted in me drowning her android in dirty windshield gunk. That got her attention... She cared a heck of a lot more about her cell phone than my foot.

But think about this. First people wanted SUVs "to feel safer". Somewhat misguided.... Get a Volvo wagon then... But okay. People want to be safe. But once THEY felt safer, then, bigger... Then an attitude of "I'm bigger, I'm cutting in and you have to let me" started creeping into the driving psyche. And now, these vehicles are so big and plush it is like a family room on wheels. And people treat it as such. They talk on the phone, they have an entertainment system. They sit in a big comfy seat. They are isolated from the outside world. And who sits in their living room looking out and being aware of what is going on outside? Not many people. And THAT mentality is what we are sharing the road with. There is a good reason it's scary out there.

Aguacate · Post by **Aguacate** » Sat Jun 16, 2012 10:50 pm

[quote resulted in me drowning her android in dirty windshield gunk. That got her attention... She cared a heck of a lot more about her cell phone than my foot.
[/quote]
oh no you didn't! HS! what happened next?

Mutt the Hoople · Post by **Mutt the Hoople** » Sun Jun 17, 2012 1:10 am

Aguacate wrote:[quote resulted in me drowning her android in dirty windshield gunk. That got her attention... She cared a heck of a lot more about her cell phone than my foot.

oh no you didn't! HS! what happened next?[/quote]

Oh yes. I did. Because after the first incident I was able to maneuver around her, knock on her window, got her attention and I said You almost backed your SUV over me. She gave me this rather stupid and dumbfounded look and shrugged and said oops. Oh brother. And she said she was sorry and I said okay. But if you need to talk on your phone, you shouldn't be driving. The SAME WOMAN ran over my foot less than three hours later. I was stopped in the proper place behind the line, and she turned way into the left hand turning lane. I got mostly out of the way... She would have gotten me head on... Instead of my foot. Note: Icon boots do their job. I got away with a bruised pinkie toe. Same freaking woman. So I was fairly irate. I followed her into the gas station and she brushed me off. I said Hey...look at me. Don't I look familiar? She said no. OMG. That was it. I said how many 50 year old women do you see riding cream and red scooters? You almost backed over me a couple of hours ago. She said she was busy and I lost it. I said don't you EVER get off that damn cell phone and I grabbed it and dumped in the really filthy window washing gunk. She gave me a livid look and went to FELCH IT OUT!!!! Whining that it was a new phone and she was calling the police, (not with THAT soggy piece of junk your not.... Ha ha ha). I said it was a 50 year old foot but it was all I had. I told her to go inside and call the police. There is a traffic camera at that intersection and at the one where she almost backed over me. I said I would wait. She did call the cops. They looked at the videos and they told her she DID not want to press charges. She got ticketed for running over my foot. I can actually press charges on her. The pathetic part was that she just did not get it. She did not even remember that she almost ran over me earlier. As a human being, or even as a mere life-form I did not even register a blip on her radar. That is what made me so angry. I was no more than a bug on her windscreen. I am a reasonable person. I take responsibility for my actions. When I am wrong I will admit it and apologize. I recognize that none of us are perfect and we all make mistakes. I forgive. But THAT woman was too much. I'm glad I drowned her stupid phone. If I was bigger and stronger I might have dunked her head in the window junk if I thought it would have woken her up. She deserved it. I was not raised to think or act like that but I have spent my life playing by the rules, trying to be a decent kind person, doing volunteer work, and I have just had it. The meek will not inherit the earth... They will get run over by every Snookie driving a big honking urban assault vehicle while yammering on the cell phone. Argh I'm on a rant. I need a big glass of water and a chill-pill.

michelle_7728 · Post by **michelle_7728** » Sun Jun 17, 2012 2:54 am

Hopefully you DO plan to sue her. Apparently, the only thing that will register on her radar is if she gets hit in the wallet and talked to by a judge. It sounds to me like she DID recognize you and intentionally cut into your lane to "teach you a lesson". I'm sure she didn't mean to run over your foot, but the fact is that she could just as easily have killed you as her driving judgement is obviously lacking.

I'd go after her for assult with intent to do bodily harm at the very least. Maybe you can get her for threatening to kill you...? The point is, you were well in your lane and she came right at you with a multi-ton guided missile. I'm thinking it is beyond believable that you had issues twice in one day with this same woman...sounds like the last incident was deliberate on her part--she recognized you and was still pissed off that you dared to call her on her behaviour earlier in the day.

Kudos for drowning her cell phone BTW.

Drum Pro · Post by **Drum Pro** » Sun Jun 17, 2012 3:39 am

Thats a story to tell the grandkids... I could see why you'd be so angry. I'm lucky I have never been through anything like that and hopefully never will...

scootavaran · Post by **scootavaran** » Sun Jun 17, 2012 5:13 am

I've always thought that there was one good thing about vehicles and people.
Its a great test of character for the driver. once the door is closed and and windows are up the drivers true self comes out.
whether it be shown that they are aggressive, impatient, cruel, angry or even hateful. It all comes out once they think they're not gonna see you face to face.

It sucks i know...

On the other hand the same applies to good and safe drivers. There is some good people out there, we just remember the dillweeds more often.

Mutt the Hoople · Post by **Mutt the Hoople** » Sun Jun 17, 2012 5:24 am

The part that is mind boggling to me is that I really don't think she did it out of anger or anything. That would be sick... But given how people can be sort of understandable. She was just that out of it. Really. It was her commplete lack of ... I don't even know what to say. I started to say her non- acknowledgement.... But it wasn't that she screwed up but she wasn't going to admit it. To have that attitude you have to know you screwed up... But you still deny it. Her head was so completely someplace else that she really didn't even see me. To me that is even scarier than just being spiteful. In her state of mind she could have hit a pedestrian, a kid... And unless they were stuck to the hood and embedded in her windshield ... She may not have noticed. I sort of wonder if she was on some kind of heavy-duty medication to be that disconnected. And I don't know. Had I given her a windshield wash swirlie... I think she still would have wondered what she did to deserve it. I guess you really can't shake some brains into an idiot. Someone should take her keys though. She's as bad as a drunk.

pdxrita · Post by **pdxrita** » Sun Jun 17, 2012 5:07 pm

You are right Mutt, someone should take her keys and it sounds like you're in a position to do that. I do hope that you'll press charges. This woman is a menace to everyone around her and it's only a matter of time before she does way more damage than running over someones toes (which is bad enough). She should not be behind the wheel at all.

LunaP · Post by **LunaP** » Mon Jun 18, 2012 4:37 am

Mutt the Hoople wrote: Oh yes. I did. Because after the first incident I was able to maneuver around her, knock on her window, got her attention and I said You almost backed your SUV over me. She gave me this rather stupid and dumbfounded look and shrugged and said oops. Oh brother. And she said she was sorry and I said okay. But if you need to talk on your phone, you shouldn't be driving. The SAME WOMAN ran over my foot less than three hours later. I was stopped in the proper place behind the line, and she turned way into the left hand turning lane. I got mostly out of the way... She would have gotten me head on... Instead of my foot. Note: Icon boots do their job. I got away with a bruised pinkie toe. Same freaking woman. So I was fairly irate. I followed her into the gas station and she brushed me off. I said Hey...look at me. Don't I look familiar? She said no. OMG. That was it. I said how many 50 year old women do you see riding cream and red scooters? You almost backed over me a couple of hours ago. She said she was busy and I lost it. I said don't you EVER get off that damn cell phone and I grabbed it and dumped in the really filthy window washing gunk. She gave me a livid look and went to FELCH IT OUT!!!! Whining that it was a new phone and she was calling the police, (not with THAT soggy piece of junk your not.... Ha ha ha). I said it was a 50 year old foot but it was all I had. I told her to go inside and call the police. There is a traffic camera at that intersection and at the one where she almost backed over me. I said I would wait. She did call the cops. They looked at the videos and they told her she DID not want to press charges. She got ticketed for running over my foot. I can actually press charges on her. The pathetic part was that she just did not get it. She did not even remember that she almost ran over me earlier. As a human being, or even as a mere life-form I did not even register a blip on her radar. That is what made me so angry. I was no more than a bug on her windscreen. I am a reasonable person. I take responsibility for my actions. When I am wrong I will admit it and apologize. I recognize that none of us are perfect and we all make mistakes. I forgive. But THAT woman was too much. I'm glad I drowned her stupid phone. If I was bigger and stronger I might have dunked her head in the window junk if I thought it would have woken her up. She deserved it. I was not raised to think or act like that but I have spent my life playing by the rules, trying to be a decent kind person, doing volunteer work, and I have just had it. The meek will not inherit the earth... They will get run over by every Snookie driving a big honking urban assault vehicle while yammering on the cell phone. Argh I'm on a rant. I need a big glass of water and a chill-pill.

Mutt. You're my hero. That is all.

JHScoot · Post by **JHScoot** » Mon Jun 18, 2012 5:17 am

Give 'em hell, Quo Vadimus!