Rear Ended on my Stella - insult over injury

[Tam Tam]

After being rear ended on my red scooter this weekend, I must say: To friends and family - If you are waiting at a redlight or a stop sign behind someone on any kind of two wheeled vehicle, do not pull right up behind them! Give them space, and pay attention to how you are operating your vehicle! OR - if you are riding as a passenger and the driver of the vehicle you are in pulls up too close to a two wheeled vehicle, kindly remind them to leave some space.
On Saturday afternoon, waiting at a stop sign to turn right onto Broadway from Austin Highway, a four door sedan pulled up not one foot behind me as I waited for traffic to lessen to make my turn. 30 seconds later, the person driving the sedan rolled forward and bumped me on my red scooter about 2 feet forward (luckily not into crosstraffic, but close enough to make me freak). The scooter stalled, and I took it out of gear, pulled it up on it's stand (aggravating my surgery lol) and turned to face a slope shouldered 40 yr old goon shuffling towards me from the sedan. I called him M___F___ about 27 times, and he stepped closer to try and, swear to God, put his arm around my shoulder, mumbling, "I just want to see if you are okay, I -" I should not have, but I knocked his arm away from me and replied "DON'T F____ TOUCH ME, YOU D__S___, C___S____, A______!!!"
Then common sense kicked in (Those of you who really know me know I am not a violent type, but wow! I was ready to flip the Road Warrior switch for this goon) and I began to scream in his face, "GET BACK IN YOUR F_____ CAR YOU M_____F_____!!!! GET BACK IN, BACK UP, AND F______ GO THE F___ AROUND ME!!!" I repeated this litany until he shuffled back to his car, while I resisted the temptation to elaborate on my cursing at him. I stood there as he backed up, and when he realized I was not gonna give any ground, had to back up further, and swing around me. I made an exaggerrated bow as he went by, ...all the while yelling M_____ F______ and other curses.
Luckily, a fellow Alamo Scoots member, Min Watson, on a red buddy, saw what happened, and helped to cool me out as I was ready to freak out...lol I think in the three minutes during the whole thing I must have swore about 17,000 times. I think he might have mumbled, "Sorry" at some point, but I seemed to be overpowering all the surrounding noise with swear words and questions about this guy's driving skills. Thank you, Min, for being a cool headed fellow scooterist and offering to help. Maybe I could have kept a cooler head, but good grief - talk about an adrenaline spike! Some goof is in a hurry to get somewhere and makes me have to act a fool...

[Syd]

You were able to determine, in the midst of the MF-bombs, that the scoot was OK? I think exchanging info, in the presence of law enforcement, is always a good idea, especially if there are witnesses.

But glad you and Stella are OK.

[skully93]

also glad there was no injury!

I...might have had a similar reaction

[CapnK]

Language worthy of a sailor - I'd have done the same!

Good that there were no serious injuries to you or your Stella.

Hopefully the schlob learned a lesson... and everyone else within hearing picked up on it too.

[Tazio]

I always go into the full rage mode also after I've been hit by a car, if I'm able to get up that is.

[jonlink]

I've been in a couple of incidents on my bicycle and the idea of exchanging info never kicks in until the adrenaline wears off and by that time it's way too late.

Be safe and fight the crazy rage power that adrenaline gives you (that's my goal at any rate )

[mukaiboston]

I always go into the full rage mode also after I've been hit by a car, if I'm able to get up that is.

You speak as if you've been hit multiple times. I've only been hit once (sideswiped by pickup truck). Needless to say, I was too scared to get angry, but I was irritated.

[michelle_7728]

Well, I can't condemn you for your temper when I have been guilty myself in the past of losing it on occassion...

I'm glad you are okay, and hope your scoot is too. Good thing he only bumped you a couple of feet, and not in to that intersection!

[Throwback7R]

next time it happens to you just do this!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=pl ... e62n8IzoP4

[rick71454]

Hello Tam Tam:

Your account of what happened is interesting and colorful!!

What happened to you is what happen to me, got bumped from behind while on my Buddy 125 waiting for a Red light to turn green. They got out of the car to talk with me. I kept my cool.

It appears by your description, this other person kept his temper down, but he also should not have touch you. I can understand someone getting upset as you did. In my situation they did not touch me.

When the same thing happend to me, I wanted to set an example for the many around me who witnessed this moment, to handle oneself with maturity and wisdom. I kept my cool.

You never know what this other person is like and capable of. I am glad for you......... that nothing worse happend to you than the fact you got bumped, your scooter stalled, and you got angry.

Rick71454

[Wolfhound]

What he said.

[Swordsman]

Am I the only one that thinks this reaction is uncool? I've been bumped myself, hard enough to topple me backwards off my sportbike (pegs swept my feet out from under me). Despite the damage to myself and my bike, I never felt the need to rage like that. Considering the guy seemed genuinely concerned, it seems kinda' uncalled for. maybe I'm just soft in my old age...?

~SM

[Keys]

I, too, think the reaction was over the top. If it was a true accident, as from your story it appeared, then the name calling and swearing was just wrong. It simply shows me you have neither the self control nor the vocabulary to express yourself in an adult and reasonably manner. Unfortunately we no longer life in a civil society and that language is acceptable. Had you spoken thusly to me, I probably would have wondered aloud how a "princess" could eat with that mouth and walked away with the understanding my apology would be meaningless. And yes, things like this have happened to me in my over 40 years of riding, so I know from whence I speak.

[skully93]

Don't be too harsh. You never quite know how you'll react until it happens!

People really are idiots. Should we react so strongly? Of course not! But we do, out of panic or passion.

Plus if someone was trying to touch me I think I'd freak out too to keep them away.

At least the person was sorry. I don't think many around here would stop!

Hopefully we can all learn a lesson: Cooler heads prevail! I'm still working on it.

[rick71454]

Hello BuddyLand:

I might want to nominate Tam Tams colorful initial post in this subject to the

MBPHF "Modern Buddy Post Hall of Fame".

It is a reasonable example of the extremes of the human psyche and how we might do differently next time.

Thanks
Rick71454

[michelle_7728]

Am I the only one that thinks this reaction is uncool? I've been bumped myself, hard enough to topple me backwards off my sportbike (pegs swept my feet out from under me). Despite the damage to myself and my bike, I never felt the need to rage like that. Considering the guy seemed genuinely concerned, it seems kinda' uncalled for. maybe I'm just soft in my old age...?

~SM

For the record, I agree with you, but I know I'm human as well, and there have been times (not on my Buddy thankfully) where I've been way out of line in my anger, which is why I commented the way I did.

Also for the record, I have begun reading a book on anger management...I rarely get angry to the point of rage, but I have felt regret/shame afterwards typically ...not a feeling I like, so am looking for tools to put in my mental arsenal to keep it from happening in the future when/if possible.

I am NOT making a judgement or suggestion here, just saying my reaction to my own outbursts.

[neotrotsky]

Am I the only one that thinks this reaction is uncool? I've been bumped myself, hard enough to topple me backwards off my sportbike (pegs swept my feet out from under me). Despite the damage to myself and my bike, I never felt the need to rage like that. Considering the guy seemed genuinely concerned, it seems kinda' uncalled for. maybe I'm just soft in my old age...?

~SM

And sometimes dumbass actions deserve a direct response. Believe it or not, there are some people out there who do NOT deserve "nice" treatment. Until you are in the situation and know the actions of everyone involved, you never know how you will react.

I've been sideswiped in my car by someone in broad daylight running a red light, and I couldn't even yell at the driver who hit me if I tried. It was the most honest of 16 year old driver mistakes at a 5 point intersection and you just KNEW this was the last thing in the world she would of ever seen happening.

Then again, I've kicked a SIZEABLE dent in the side of a door of a car who clipped my mirror simply because they gunned their exhaust while passing me on a double yellow line on the left just to let me know he was being a douche and passing me because 50mph was too slow on a surface street. He followed me to my work and we had *words*. Enough that the bouncers had to come out and separate us. The only thing I wish I did was take out a few windows while I was at it.

Sometimes the situation calls for it. That's my opinion.

[Stephen Gomes]

Okay, let me get this straight - he rolls forward into you (no one knows why this happened), pushing you forward, but not into cross traffic, gets out of his car and endures 27 or so MF'ers to see if you're okay, and then he tries to comfort you by attempting to put his arm around you, which you knock away and shower him with yet more colorful language. Then something you call "common sense" kicks in, bringing with it further foul-mouthed punk BS.

I am at a total loss to understand the sympathy your silly story has engendered in this forum; and, I warn you that you might want to lose your selfish attitude before you play it to a customer with one even worse than yours, and the means to back it up!!

If you had offered just one bit of evidence or observation that the other driver was anything but contrite and concerned, I might be inclined to change my opinion of your reprehensible actions. But you don't.

You should be ashamed.

Steve

[rick71454]

Hello Stephen Gomes;BuddyLand:

Thank you for being a bit more bold than me in your disapproval of Tam Tams manner of handling his event that is the subject of this thread.

It is interesting to me that this person went on to share and or rant about it on this public forum and what that might indicate.

The lesson from Tam Tam to me..... is to what not to do. For me and my house.....it is never appropriate to do what he did. Get mad, that is human psyche.....OK when appropriate, but not like what that he or she did.
------------------------------------------------------------

Hey Tam Tam:
I never met you in person but I wish you well..........

Rick71454

[TVB]

Self-righteous judgmentalism is more than a little rude too, folks.

[TVB]

and then he tries to comfort you by attempting to put his arm around you,

Which is really inappropriate thing to do with a stranger. If I'm angry with someone, for them to put their hands on me is just going to make the situation worse.

[rick71454]

Hello TVB;BuddyLand:

Someone did put his arm around me as you mentioned about that sort of thing with Tam Tam.

I did get angry......... like Tam Tam got angry..... when the stranger who tried to comfort Tam Tam put his arm around Tam Tam. The difference between Tama Tam and I was that I kept my cool.........in the heat of the moment. This is not meant to put myself on a higher level, I am just a sinner and make mistakes too.

There is a difference between our emotions and the action we take about it.

Just like me I was angry inside and had thoughts of punching this person who put his arm around me. He even had alcohol on his breath.
But I did not punch him.

Perhaps more important than riding a Scooter or at least as equally important in riding a scooter amongst the public........
is the examples of our own personhood we put out there.

You never know what kind of hardware someone my have with them.....
be careful!!

Rick71454

[Keys]

[quote="rick71454"
You never know what kind of hardware someone my have with them.....
be careful!!

Rick71454[/quote]

Excellent point. Personally, I am ALWAYS armed. And, no matter how justified a person may believe their rage to be, if I feel the safety of, say, my wife our grandchildren to be threatened in any way...even if it was because I did something stupid...I will remove that threat by whatever means I have at my disposal. In other words, if I am driving with a loved one in my car and I accidently bump you and you fly back at my car screaming and swearing and threatening you will suddenly find yourself with a handgun in your face. The perceived safety of my loved one will always trump your self-righteous temper tantrum regardless of reason.

[rick71454]

Hello Keys:BuddyLand:

Keys........straight out ...........nicely said.............warning.........

I hope Tam Tam and anyone else who cant resist flipping out, reads Keys post and that results in a bit more mature self control manner for them.

As much as I am grateful to learn from you all and return the favor sharing what I know about scooter.......
your safety comes first, and means much more to me.........

Thanks
Rick

[charlie55]

Regardless of how you feel about the expletives, the driver of the sedan was dead wrong in putting hands on the O.P. Perhaps it's an artifact of where I grew up, but closing on someone you've royally pissed off and then putting an arm on them constitutes a much more serious threat than just returning the verbal abuse in kind and calling it a day. As a matter of fact it's much more likely to develop into the type of situation described by Keys, with the roles reversed.

I doubt if I'd go on quite as intense a tear as the O.P., but I understand where that rage comes from: the daily two-wheeled experience of being treated as a complete non-entity on the road.

[Tam Tam]

Oh, to be sure I could have kept a cooler head...I meant it when I said, at the end of the post, 'act a fool', cause I'm sure looked like a jack ass, no doubt. I could have won the 'Burro of the Year' award, standing out there yelling and hollering. The d*ck thing here would be to lash out at the members whose responses were not supportive of my behavior, using plenty of f-bombs, but I have no inclination to do so. After all, differing opinions are valuable tools for growth and self examination. (Although, it just occurred to me how close my forum name is to the word 'tantrum')
The best response would have been to hop off, check the scooter out, check myself out, and responded to the guy, "Man, no harm done, but you really need to be more careful." And then we would have gone our separate ways. But I can't say that the last bit would be my reaction if it happened again. I wish I could, but we all react to situations differently, and even we have a multitude of possible reactions for any situation we might be in. Who knows? At a different time and place, I might have done what I described above...or I might have jumped off and not said a word, just bum rushed the guy, swinging away. I suppose part of the generation of my reaction would have to have come from the set up of the driver pulling up within a foot of me as we waited to turn right. Had he left a space cushion between us when he stopped, who knows? He could have edged forward with no trouble at all...but that is all speculative.
Now, my coolest reaction to a minor accident happened one morning on the way to work. I was in my chevy coupe, and in the 'outside lane' of two left turn only lanes. As I made the turn staying in my lane, an SUV drifted from the 'inside' lane and 'bumped' into my coupe. We both pulled over, and a 50 sih tall guy with a beard and a sport coat got out, and put away his phone ( Had he been talking on it when we bumped? don't know). I just squatted down and checked out my car. It looked like his step up rail on the suv had bumped me, but hadn't dented or done any damage that I could see. The odd thing was that he never once said the word 'sorry', just a string of half sentences about 'didn't mean to move into your lane...don't think I did any damage...those lanes are always tricky to go through...' and so on. I completed my checking out my car, stood and turned to look at the guy. His half sentences trailed off, and I just...looked at him. Not scowling, not frowning, just looked at him. I inhaled as though I was filling up breath to say something, and then spun and got into my car, without saying a word. Sometimes silence says more than words.
Was I rude to the guy who bumped my scooter? Hell yes. Could it have been handled better? of course...and true he could have got out with a gun or who knows what. Am I ashamed of my behavior? Nope, just a bit regretful that I lost control of myself, which is a dangerous thing to lose in any situation, and acted a fool. We can all armchair QB this kind of scene, but I don't think we could 100% accurately predict how we would act in this kind of incident - I know I couldn't.
Had I read the original post if it were written by someone else, would I say 'Way to go!' or 'Glad you are okay' or 'Shame on you' or 'If someone had acted that way to me, and I felt my or my loved one's safety was threatened, I would have pulled a firearm'? Well, I'll tell you-there is no way I could gauge my reaction to reading about this incident had it happened to someone else. Naturally, I am only speaking of my own limitations.

[Rob]

Self-righteous judgmentalism is more than a little rude too, folks.

Concise and well said.

It's very easy to Monday morning quarterback and tell folks what they should have done (talk to my MIL for pointers). But an incident like is quite likely to provoke an unplanned, spur of the moment emotional response.

Rob

[az_slynch]

To prelude, this is an old story that precludes my involvement in MB. Ergo, I don't belive it's crash thread material.

I would up laying my P200 down once when an inattentive driver pulled out of curbside parking in front of me and tried to pull a U-turn. It was raining buckets and there were trolley tracks involved. I recall the scooter's front wheel slipping out from under me when I tried to cross the tracks in a banking turn. The bike lowsided and slid away; I tumbled along behind.

No breaks, but a few bruises and scuffs on me. My leather jacket got more roadburn than I did. The P lost the left mirror, some paint off the front fender, the spare-side cowl got scraped/dented and the legshield trim got scraped. Miraculously, my then-new HJC helmet was amazingly untouched; my helmet never touched the road.

When the driver rolled down their window and asked if I was OK, it was a great opportunity to dog-cuss them. Instead, I somehow managed to bite my tongue and say, "Yes. In the future, please check your mirrors before pulling out." I stood the bike up, kicked it repeatedly until it fired, then rode on to my destination. Since I was going to the local scooter club garage, I was able to swap off my old P-series mirror with a spare takeoff Stella mirror and vent my frustration by bashing the cowl back out with a sandbag and a dead-blow hammer. The cowl scratch was partially obscured with a "Crashing Sucks" sticker, which is still on there as a reminder...it compliments the "Turn the gas on, Dummy!" sticker nicely.

TamTam, I don't fault you for blowing a gasket on the guy. The violation of personal space would have really lit me too. I credit you for your mature response to the feedback you've received from the forums. It's hard to say how we'll react in a given circumstance. Other variables affecting our mood and judgement cannot be predicted, as it's well-nigh impossible to predict an accident and plan your day around it. The best we can do is put down our sword, encourage the other party to put down their rock and try to dialogue like civilized men.

[michelle_7728]

Well said Tam Tam and az_slynch.

I lost my temper again today. I won't go into details other than to say that initially it was justified, but after that, I should have bit my tongue.

It's impossible to say how one will react to every little thing life throws your way. All you can do is try to learn from it, or not (talking about myself here sometimes.... ).