NBR: What's the best way to destroy a scooter?

[nuttmeg75]

Hey folks,

I work as an editor on a game show called "Catch It Keep It" that will air soon on Discovery Science. Basically, 3 contestants have 48 hours to build something that will save their prize (in this case, a Flyscooter il Bello) from being destroyed. So my question is: how would you destroy a scooter? In the first episode, we suspended a 50" plasma tv 55 feet over a bed of steel spikes and used a flamethrower to burn the rope. Any ideas would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks,
Adam

[KRUSTYburger]

Hmmm... that's easy, just send me the scooter and I will make you a computer generated video of the scooter exploding into a million pieces.

[Skootz Kabootz]

Use it as a wrecking ball...

...of course that might spark the plastic vs metal debate again.

[laxer]

I think that dropping a car on it would do the trick, or you could just give it to Ericalm for a week. Either way, you'll get the same results

[Orange Guy]

So my question is: how would you destroy a scooter?

Build it in China?

[UXO]

Drive to Hummers head on with the scooter in the middle. It makes a fuel statement too.

[illnoise]

"Build it in China" is about right.

Run it without oil?

Sell it to a girl who comes into a shop with her boyfriend who's wearing an Eminem t-shirt and who refuses the quick riding lesson you offer her because "Dude, I've been riding dirtbikes for years, I'll teach her."

Turn left at a 4-way stop, with an oncoming soccer mom in a Range Rover on a cell phone?

Give it to Penny Sokody of Chicago IL.

Park it in the campground of the Indianapolis Motor Speedway during a MotoGP race and drop your keys a few feet away.

Park it on the sidewalk in the Chicago Loop with a note to police saying "You can't tow me, I'm a moped." (It's not, and they can, and they will).

Park it near a bonfire at a scooter rally and tap a few kegs.

[Vic]

Ask the Easy Peaseys and they would likely tell you to make it come live with me for a while, that'll do it.

But for something with a little more entertainment value (although slower ) I like the idea of a couple of distracted cagers in Hummers smashing it to bits.

'Though, in my experience the soccer dads are just as bad! One guy on my way to work in a late model red sedan is always either juggling his breakfast, blabbing on his phone or running his Norelco over his stubble as he does a little nasal gold mining (do these guys think nobody can see them??? EW!).

Of course there is the mom with 2 fighting kids in the back seat who is putting on her mascara while drinking her Latte and trying to restore order to the back seat...

I am just waiting for these two rocket scientists to meet up one of these days (and I know the exact intersection it will happen).

I would love to see this-it might send a message about the dangers of distracted driving-and the fact that WE CAN SEE YOU-you idiots! (Said to the distracted drivers)

-v

[jrsjr]

Turn left at a 4-way stop, with an oncoming soccer mom in a Range Rover on a cell phone?

Give it to Penny Sokody of Chicago IL.

Park it in the campground of the Indianapolis Motor Speedway during a MotoGP race and drop your keys a few feet away.

Park it on the sidewalk in the Chicago Loop with a note to police saying "You can't tow me, I'm a moped." (It's not, and they can, and they will).

Park it near a bonfire at a scooter rally and tap a few kegs.

Pls tell me those are not *all* autobiographical.

[laxer]

Maybe you could have it smashed between a swinging washer and dryer...I'm not sure why, it just seems cool.

[Scooter Hoot]

Trebuchet

Scooter between a minivan and a brick wall

Scooter off a cliff/building/parking garage/bridge into land/bridge into water

Run over by a bus

[ericalm]

Given that it has to be some method that the contestants can somehow prevent…

Some type of rollercoaster-like track with a steep incline? A Mousetrap-like device of some sort (that's where the team builds come in) will send the scooter down the track and flying off the end of it and into a brick wall.

I'm trying to think of what sort of impact (front, sides, front and back) would have the most dramatic outcome…

Monster truck? Steamroller?

Explosives?

[DanteG]

Expose the scoot to TV producers and wait for it to committ suicide ?

[ScooterTrash]

Drive to Hummers head on with the scooter in the middle. It makes a fuel statement too.

I like this one accept use a lower ground clearance vehicle. I already have a way in mind to keep it safe can I play?

[Scalpel]

I work as an editor on a game show called "Catch It Keep It" that will air soon on Discovery Science. Basically, 3 contestants have 48 hours to build something that will save their prize (in this case, a Flyscooter il Bello) from being destroyed.

After noticing the name of your show, I'd suggest the following ideas:

1. Launch it from a catapult or other flinging device. If they can catch it, they can keep it.
2. Tie its steering so that it will drive straight forward, and then get it going at a good speed and let it go. Once it passes a "start" line, they get to catch it without destroying it. If they don't, there's a cliff a little way down the course...
3. Similar idea to #2. Get it to the top of a tall hill, and let it roll towards the bottom, where a big wall awaits.

[BlueMark]

1. Launch it from a catapult or other flinging device. If they can catch it, they can keep it.

Ding Ding Ding Ding - I think we have a winnah!

Actually Scooter Hoot had it first - a Trebuchet (the medieval siege weapon - not the font) it is basically a counterweighted catapult ... or in this case a scootapult.

[Quo Vadimus]

+ Quick epoxy (or AB Foam) suspended in two wheelbarrows above scoot which is chained to a fence - have a limited time (before they dump) to either bust scoot out or build shelter with provided materials.

+ Scoot on roof of building. Scoot will be pushed off. Contestants get limited materials to build a ramp/track and some sort of balancing mechanism so that the scoot safely rolls down on its own.

+ Scoot tied to concrete pillar with very long line. Scoot is set to run on its own at full-speed, wrapping around pole (training wheels, I guess). If team can catch scoot before it wraps all the way around (smashing itself to bits), they keep it.

+ Quicksand? Sewage treatment plant? Quarry? Brick wall? Junkyard electromagnet?

+ Scoot covered in pork chop puree and put into a cage with several wolverines. The end. =)

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[ScooterDave]

Drive to Hummers head on with the scooter in the middle. It makes a fuel statement too.

I like this one accept use a lower ground clearance vehicle. I already have a way in mind to keep it safe can I play?

Lets be careful here with the SUV comments.


Dave
Owner of 2 Suburbans & Ford Pickup

[armacham]

Lets be careful here with the SUV comments.


Dave
Owner of 2 Suburbans & Ford Pickup

Wouldn't want to hurt your feelings, man

[UXO]

I like the Trebuchet idea; however for American TV I would rename it Giaganta Saurusa Catapultus since Trebuchet is too french for most.

[kschulz]

Arm the contestants with Javelin missiles...

[Lostmycage]

Keep in the drop-ship crate and suspend it from a crane above a parking lot. Have the crane set to disengage it's hoist at a set time interval and see if the contestants can figure out a way of stopping it from landing.

That's about the best I can do with the show's premise.

If you really want to destroy it, drain the oil and put the smallest main jet that'll fit it's carb into it.

Alternately, since it's not stable on two wheels without a rider, you could park it on it's center stand and put it on a tilting see-saw type contraption that gets a steady amount of weight added to one end (the end facing the front of the scooter, so that it's got more of a chance to not fall off it's center stand, but instead skid off to it's demise). That way the contestants have a choice between counter balancing it or building a ramp of some sort to catch it from falling onto some hard surface 20 feet below. I'd add in some sort of wall to the "see-saw" contraption so that it doesn't tip over while it's skidding and just out-right fall.

[Cheshire]

Very large vise. After all, you bend the frame and that thing's insta-totalled.

[newslinky]

Scooter in a car compactor with some sort of computer controlled timer?

[ScooterDave]

Wouldn't want to hurt your feelings, man

Thanks. I am a pretty sensitive person.

Dave

[jfrost2]

How come all of the middle questions dont have a no response, that hurt feelings report cracks me up though. Something tells me though when you want to get the signature of the "real man" who hurts people's feelings, you'd probably get knocked out.

[kazoo]

Wouldn't want to hurt your feelings, man

Thanks. I am a pretty sensitive person.

Dave

Don't you mean sensitive trigger finger?

I have one of those too, but the only bloodshed was from having it up my nose to deep.

Kaz owner Chevy Van

[underdog]

Drive to Hummers head on with the scooter in the middle. It makes a fuel statement too.

I like this one accept use a lower ground clearance vehicle. I already have a way in mind to keep it safe can I play?

[ScooterDave]

Don't you mean sensitive trigger finger?

Indeed. In fact I am going to the range tonight after work with one of my employees.

[black sunshine]

could you like, destroy a FAKE scooter? i dunno, something about a show about smashing something that somebody could really use just makes me

it's like the dudes who had the videos showing them destroying iPods. i really wanted an iPod!

[ericalm]

I'm trying to think of what the necessary elements for a product deathtrap are. It's awakening my inner evil genius. BWAHAHAHAHA.

[Coffeejunkie]

Put the scooter in the middle of a two story building that is going to be demolished. Then blow the damn thing sky high. It would provide a nice big boom that folks who watch Discovery based programming like, and it would be fun to see how people would try and protect it from tons of falling concrete and rebar.

Another option would be to put some sort of food item in the pet carrier and front storage compartment, and then bring in a hungry bear.

A third would be to have it placed on a artillery range, and have the military take a whack at them with their favorite toys.

[illnoise]

Pls tell me those are not *all* autobiographical.

Not <i>auto</i>biographical, but they're all based on true stories.

Also, keep it away from gravel, icy manhole covers, and railroad tracks. (those are autobiographical)

Bb.

[illnoise]

Wouldn't want to hurt your feelings, man

Ha, it's the Hurt Report!

I also second the idea to ship it across the country in a crate without insurance.

Bb.

[Skootz Kabootz]

could you like, destroy a FAKE scooter? i dunno, something about a show about smashing something that somebody could really use just makes me

it's like the dudes who had the videos showing them destroying iPods. i really wanted an iPod!

Couldn't agree more. I wouldn't watch the show just because I find the blatant waste and excess offensive.

Like food eating contests while other people are starving... disgusting.

[bunny]

1. Launch it from a catapult or other flinging device. If they can catch it, they can keep it.

Ding Ding Ding Ding - I think we have a winnah!

Actually Scooter Hoot had it first - a Trebuchet (the medieval siege weapon - not the font) it is basically a counterweighted catapult ... or in this case a scootapult.

Where else in the universe can one find a conversation that includes scooters, medieval weapons AND fonts in the same sentence? And THIS is why I love Modern Buddy.

I personally vote for the trebuchet. I'd watch it.

[dirt city]

I was under the opinion that Fly scooters have no problem destroying themselves.

[laxer]

could you like, destroy a FAKE scooter? i dunno, something about a show about smashing something that somebody could really use just makes me

it's like the dudes who had the videos showing them destroying iPods. i really wanted an iPod!

Couldn't agree more. I wouldn't watch the show just because I find the blatant waste and excess offensive.

Like food eating contests while other people are starving... disgusting.

As opposed to them paying actors ridiculous amounts of money for the entertainment of people who have television and cable when others have no tv at all?

[kazoo]

Fill the pet carrier and other openings with scents from female Orangutans in heat then invite in a undersexed male Orangutan..


Ask the contestants to wrestle that.

[Skootz Kabootz]

...As opposed to them paying actors ridiculous amounts of money for the entertainment of people who have television and cable when others have no tv at all?

I'm not sure I follow your line of thought but in my opinion, receiving payment for work done is in not comparable to waste.

[ericalm]

could you like, destroy a FAKE scooter? i dunno, something about a show about smashing something that somebody could really use just makes me

it's like the dudes who had the videos showing them destroying iPods. i really wanted an iPod!

Couldn't agree more. I wouldn't watch the show just because I find the blatant waste and excess offensive.

Like food eating contests while other people are starving... disgusting.

As opposed to them paying actors ridiculous amounts of money for the entertainment of people who have television and cable when others have no tv at all?

I had a knee jerk "Yeah, it's bad!" reaction when I read black sunshine and Skootz Kabootz's comments, but in the interest of justifying my tastes in entertainment was able to get past the moral implications. For me, the destruction of the object isn't wasteful or purposeless; it's done for entertainment. Sad to say there are few pursuits more highly valued in our society. I'd put this in the same category as blowing up or wrecking a scooter (car, boat, building, whatever) while filming a movie or tv show, something I have no problems with at all. It's like all that stuff Letterman used to throw off the roof. For some, I suppose, it's fun to smash things and see them get smashed.

I don't equate it with wasting food, because food is a life necessity that gets wasted while people die from going without. (Granted, I probably waste food. I certainly eat more than I should. But I'm pretty repulsed by these eating competitions. Except "Man vs. Food" on the Travel Channel, which is actually kind of awesome.)

There are a lot of things on TV that I find much more offensive or wasteful, such as the $100,000 that will be awarded to the winner of "Girls of Hedsor Hall." Might as well just throw that money down the drain, as they say. In all seriousness, we're looking at consumer goods valued at under $5K, fairly small beans in the production budget of a tv show.

[Quo Vadimus]

As opposed to them paying actors ridiculous amounts of money for the entertainment of people who have television and cable when others have no tv at all?

No, more like joyriding your scooter around, thinking that 80mpg is good, despite the huge subsidies paid by the government, and despite other parts of the world burning poo to heat their huts. I for one am only riding my scooter downhill from now on.

[laxer]

...As opposed to them paying actors ridiculous amounts of money for the entertainment of people who have television and cable when others have no tv at all?

I'm not sure I follow your line of thought but in my opinion, receiving payment for work done is in not comparable to waste.

My point is that the money will be spent for entertainment in one form or another, there is no way around it. Where this show uses the money to buy scooters which may get destroyed, other shows use that same money to pay actors and buy props. Either way, the money could have been spent to buy poor people food and clothing. But, they are a business, and make money by getting people to watch their show, and whether it means destroying a tv or paying to use a trained monkey on set, they are still using the same money for the same reason.

[BlueMark]

You can argue about the relative virtues of various forms of entertainment, but what the heck, it is providing jobs for people who could end up being poor and hungry otherwise, eh?

I like these kinds of shows, they rely on people showing some real ingenuity and brainpower - much more impressive than asking Vanna to touch a square to show a letter.

So let's imagine this was going to be a classic Lambretta instead of a "fly" scooter. Are you interested now?

It's going to be flung into a field by a trebuchet.

You catch it, it is yours.

How you going to do it? Can you design a apparatus that can catch it without undue damage? Can you figure out where the trebuchet will send it? Can you get the apparatus there in time - can you fine tune the landing zone while the scooter is in flight? Does that mean your will be standing out in the field pushing around a "catcher" while 300 lbs falls out of the sky straight towards you? Might want to wear a helmet?

Yeah .... that's better than buying a g*dd*mn vowel.

[ericalm]

Anyone know how much heat it would take to melt the exterior of a Fly Il Bello?

[laxer]

Anyone know how much heat it would take to melt the exterior of a Fly Il Bello?

Ooh, I like where you're going with this...

[KRUSTYburger]

ok, giant microwave time!

[Buddy_wannabe]

[/quote]
Ding Ding Ding Ding - I think we have a winnah!

Actually Scooter Hoot had it first - a Trebuchet (the medieval siege weapon - not the font) it is basically a counterweighted catapult ... or in this case a scootapult.[/quote]

Trebuchet was my 1st thought.

Saw a show where a guy used one of these to fling a piano , a washing machine , a compact car and he would pour on gas and fling them flaming. It was cool.

Park it behind a jet engine.

Have it all on a timer an you need to complete a task to stop it.

[nuttmeg75]

Well, I think we can rule out the catapult. Network says they've had enough of 'em for a while. I think a steamroller or some form of melting are the office front runners so far. Keep those ideas coming. Thanks again.

[KRUSTYburger]

Okay, if the gigantic microwave is too extravagant, how about a gigantic magnifying glass?

It could be getting progressively closer as the sun rotates around the earth... just don't anybody accidentally get under that, cuz crap, that would suck.