Two Wheel World Things I Don't Get

[Southerner]

I will miss the old 500. It looked kinda butch.

[avonpirate]

Illnoise: I agree with 2,3,8 &9. #4 made me laugh. HAven't been to any scooter rallies so I don't have an opinion.

[black sunshine]

7) The 'Sachs' MadAss.

i was in agreement with you previously, but this beauty was hanging out outside my hotel during Dragon*Con this year:



i have to say, it caught my eye every time posted it on my scooter club's Facebook page and it turns out that people knew it. my buddy Floyd actually got a speeding ticket on it once!

[Southerner]

Have to agree. What's not to like? It's as basic as 2-wheeled motorized transport can get.

One of my co-workers made it up there for Dragon-Con. She said it got pretty wild late at night. How'd you like it?

[az_slynch]

Have to agree. What's not to like? It's as basic as 2-wheeled motorized transport can get.

One of my co-workers made it up there for Dragon-Con. She said it got pretty wild late at night. How'd you like it?

I still kinda want one. It's like a "streetfighter" Cub. I just don't think I could give up my Benly 90 to make room for one, though. Guess I need to try one out before making that call...

[TVB]

Have to agree. What's not to like? It's as basic as 2-wheeled motorized transport can get.

I could see myself on one of those.... it's got a nice moped-y look to it.

One of my co-workers made it up there for Dragon-Con. She said it got pretty wild late at night. How'd you like it?

The Craigslist personal ads for Atlanta just before Dragon-Con can be... entertaining.

[Southerner]

I can imagine. From what I hear from friends, quite a lot goes on there anyway.

[Scooterboi]

I think that most of this thread can be summed up by saying that we don't like posers. whether they are 'hipsters' 'bohemians' 'weekend warriors' or whatever.
-duo

Nice summation and I agree.

OK. You can spot 'em in a heartbeat. The problem is THEY don't know they're posers. So how do you clue an otherwise oblivious poser in without inducing meltdown?

Reminds me of a Steve Martin gag. "Everyone complains about the weather, but no one ever DOES anything about it!"

Gallager had the idea of shooting a suction dart with a "Stupid" flag on the trunk of crazy drivers and when they had a bunch of them the cops can pull them over and give a ticket for driving like an idiot.

And there is always "Here's your sign!"

[Southerner]

I think that weather gag was first done by Will Rogers.

[TVB]

I think that weather gag was first done by Will Rogers.

It's also been attributed to Samuel Clemens. (But then, so have most pithy quotes that don't directly refer to modern technology. )

[BootScootin'FireFighter]

Here's my list...

1.)



Future champion of what? getting ripped off by buying cheap chinese crap? I had no idea that stickers made a scooter go faster!


2.)the Gap Band and Wu-Tang Clan not being played at scooter rallies!


3.)Bikes with loud pipes obnoxiously announcing their arrival at restaurant districts. Yea great, your bike's loud, your penis is small. Can we all enjoy our evening out in a little peace and quiet?


4.)Harley Davidson stores in places like Downtown Disney and Times Square that don't even sell bikes. Lame.


5.)These guys. Capital Beltway, all the time. It's either stuntin' by day, or racing through traffic at 100+ mph at night. At least they mainly stick to the Maryland side of the river.

<iframe width="853" height="480" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/WTyZj9-hp-k" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

[JBenjimin]

Inspired by another thread.
6 This (specifically)

I saw one of 'that' in the parking lot at the local Arbys one night. I almost p*ssed myself laughing, it looked so strange. I didn't realize it was sold that way, I thought someone drew a sketch when they were drunk and took it to the custom shop to build it.

[neotrotsky]

Inspired by another thread.
6 This (specifically)

I saw one of 'that' in the parking lot at the local Arbys one night. I almost p*ssed myself laughing, it looked so strange. I didn't realize it was sold that way, I thought someone drew a sketch when they were drunk and took it to the custom shop to build it.

Had one of those park next to me at the college when I was going to class this morning. The guy was in full leathers (+1 for safety, but it was 103 degrees by then) and chucked at my Kymco. He nods over and asks the expected: "So when you gettin' a REAL bike?".

I just looked over at his bike (which was the same sliver color as mine) and asked "Well, it's sliver, like yours. It's covered in plastic, like yours. It has underseat storage and side bags, like yours. It even has a nifty place for both of my feet behind shields, like yours. I only spent $2,100, and I got a 2 year unlimited warranty. Did you?"

And I just walked away. With two tests, an extra shift added to work and a trip to the DMV later that day, I wasn't in the mood for a response.

[black sunshine]

One of my co-workers made it up there for Dragon-Con. She said it got pretty wild late at night. How'd you like it?

Dragon*Con is the yearly mecca for all things nerd, for me . . . this year did NOT disappoint! i had a blast, as always. i'm already planning my costumes for next year . . . !

[SYMbionic Duo]

Here's my list...

5.)These guys. Capital Beltway, all the time. It's either stuntin' by day, or racing through traffic at 100+ mph at night. At least they mainly stick to the Maryland side of the river.

At least the one guy has some skill. How is it really any different than the kids doing bmx stunts or skater kids? or motocross or x games?

Putting other drivers at risk while doing stunts or racing is rude to say the least, but if they are only risking themselves, i say go for it.

[Southerner]

Inspired by another thread.
6 This (specifically)

I saw one of 'that' in the parking lot at the local Arbys one night. I almost p*ssed myself laughing, it looked so strange. I didn't realize it was sold that way, I thought someone drew a sketch when they were drunk and took it to the custom shop to build it.

Had one of those park next to me at the college when I was going to class this morning. The guy was in full leathers (+1 for safety, but it was 103 degrees by then) and chucked at my Kymco. He nods over and asks the expected: "So when you gettin' a REAL bike?".

I just looked over at his bike (which was the same sliver color as mine) and asked "Well, it's sliver, like yours. It's covered in plastic, like yours. It has underseat storage and side bags, like yours. It even has a nifty place for both of my feet behind shields, like yours. I only spent $2,100, and I got a 2 year unlimited warranty. Did you?"

And I just walked away. With two tests, an extra shift added to work and a trip to the DMV later that day, I wasn't in the mood for a response.

I guess that since his Victory is American-made, he felt he was "qualified" to hand out such remarks just like a Harley guy. Funny.

Victory actually makes some much saner and actually quite nice touring bikes. But I've sat on a few different models and they all feel heavy and unwieldy. Might be OK on the highway, though.

[illnoise]

[quote="BootScootin'FireFighter"]Here's my list...

2.)the Gap Band and Wu-Tang Clan not being played at scooter rallies!

Would you settle for the Dazz Band? You will never attend a 2strokebuzz hospitality suite party without hearing "Let It Whip." Guaranteed. I could probably dust off my Bobby Digital LP but I was never all that into the Wu-Tang. I'm more of a Native Tongues kinda guy.

Or I have a really good Roger Troutman solo album…

Bb

[az_slynch]

Here's my list...

1.)



Future champion of what? getting ripped off by buying cheap chinese crap? I had no idea that stickers made a scooter go faster!

Well, it will beat you in a breakdown contest anyday, anytime.

They're the first scooters I've seen to have body panels crack without being crashed or dropped (even worse than 1987 Honda plastics!). I've seen a Chinese 50 where the engine gave out before the first fill in the oil tank ran out.

So, if you use Charlie Sheen's definition of "winning", I could see merit in the decals.

[neotrotsky]

Here's my list...

2.)the Gap Band and Wu-Tang Clan not being played at scooter rallies!

Would you settle for the Dazz Band? You will never attend a 2strokebuzz hospitality suite party without hearing "Let It Whip." Guaranteed. I could probably dust off my Bobby Digital LP but I was never all that into the Wu-Tang. I'm more of a Native Tongues kinda guy.

Or I have a really good Roger Troutman solo album…

Bb

But DEVO is still cool. Right?

Please tell me it is. If it isn't, then I never want to be right.

[Rusty J]

Here's my list...

2.)the Gap Band and Wu-Tang Clan not being played at scooter rallies!

Would you settle for the Dazz Band? You will never attend a 2strokebuzz hospitality suite party without hearing "Let It Whip." Guaranteed. I could probably dust off my Bobby Digital LP but I was never all that into the Wu-Tang. I'm more of a Native Tongues kinda guy.

Or I have a really good Roger Troutman solo album…

Bb

But DEVO is still cool. Right?

Please tell me it is. If it isn't, then I never want to be right.

Weren't they through being cool?
Now you've done it. I want an Elite 150 and a DOT/Snell-rated flower pot!
Never did get the point of the retracting headlight on those -- by the time they were built, the US required motorcycle headlights to be on continuously. Maybe in Japan or Europe they didn't have that same limitation.

Anyhow, regarding a few previous WTFs:

- Way too many mirrors: This started as a sarcastic response to the first laws in Britain requiring mirrors on motorscooters.
- "Ape-hanger" (tall) motorcycle handlebars: A way to deal with carpal tunnel syndrome before anyone knew what it was. You're pretty much forced to roll your wrists into an ergonomically correct position by hanging onto the grips. When highway speeds were lower it didn't matter so much that this turned you into a human drag chute, and back then, optimized handling wasn't really a priority.
- "Chopper" (raked-out) forks: When motorcycle frame geometry was a black art rather than a science, this was a way to provide additional stability (lifting the steering head increases the rake angle by tilting the rest of the bike backward). Also, for drag-racing, it moved the center of mass forward to enable more solid launches without bringing the front wheel up.

These are all carried on as styling features (an excuse to add chrome) rather than out of any functional requirement.

- That "VIP" scooter: I can only assume it looks awesome to someone who doesn't read English, in the same way that some Japanese "sporty" cars have large Kanji decals that appeal to their non-Japanese-speaking owners. I have no idea why they don't leave the stickers off for the U.S. market though. It's not like 8-year-old kids are buying many of them...

- Sachs MadAss: Not exactly my cup of tea, but I understand the appeal.

- Fringey stuff: I want. To be. A cowboy! (If anyone remembers that punk song and who did it, let me know. Haven't heard it in so long that all I can remember is bits and pieces ...) Makes sense if your design esthetic derives from '50s Westerns.

[SYMbionic Duo]

"Future cowboy was my fate, i can't help it that I was born late."

I want to be a cowboy - the vandals

[Rusty J]

Thank you -- much appreciated!

[TVB]

"Future cowboy was my fate, i can't help it that I was born late."

I want to be a cowboy - the vandals

The song is officially titled "Urban Struggle".

[SYMbionic Duo]

Yup, my bad. I was half asleep.

[LunaP]

Here's my list...

1.)



Future champion of what? getting ripped off by buying cheap chinese crap? I had no idea that stickers made a scooter go faster!

3.)Bikes with loud pipes obnoxiously announcing their arrival at restaurant districts. Yea great, your bike's loud, your penis is small. Can we all enjoy our evening out in a little peace and quiet?

+1, snicker

I detest unnecessarily loud bikes. That's the reason I actually hated MC's for a long time... all my encounters with them growing up were limited to gaudy, noisy Hardleys and equally as noisy and impractical 'crotch rockets'. As I got older I gained an appreciation for older bikes that were nicer and less showboaty.

Also... Harley Davidson store merch... at all. I went and looked at a Harley store while on the great search for a modular for Lokky. Not a single armored jacket in the damn store, but the dumb stuff was all still $100 and up, just because it's Harley. Bump that.

[still shifting]

I don't get the buy it and park it syndrome! How can people let a good machine (on any type) rot from neglect? Don't they know macines have Souls? R

[Rusty Shackleford]

Nice thread!

People who buy 250cc or larger scooters but never ride on the freeway

This is just silly. I had to take the Buddy 125 out on the interstate the other day to test the top speed because none of the non-highway roads have high enough speed limits. In a tuck, I can repeatedly hit 70mph indicated on flat ground and have never fallen below 60mph on a hill climb. A 250 has double the displacement. I know wind drag is exponential, but for exmple, if Genuine is quoting 75mph+ for the Blur 220i, I bet you a Coke that I could hold almost 80mph indicated on a flat and climb hills without dropping below 70mph. I know it's a scooter, but if you're riding anything over a 250 you may want to consider growing a pair and enjoying your bike.

...regarding a few previous WTFs:

- Way too many mirrors: This started as a sarcastic response to the first laws in Britain requiring mirrors on motorscooters.

- "Ape-hanger" (tall) motorcycle handlebars: A way to deal with carpal tunnel syndrome before anyone knew what it was. You're pretty much forced to roll your wrists into an ergonomically correct position by hanging onto the grips. When highway speeds were lower it didn't matter so much that this turned you into a human drag chute, and back then, optimized handling wasn't really a priority.

- "Chopper" (raked-out) forks: When motorcycle frame geometry was a black art rather than a science, this was a way to provide additional stability (lifting the steering head increases the rake angle by tilting the rest of the bike backward). Also, for drag-racing, it moved the center of mass forward to enable more solid launches without bringing the front wheel up.

These are all carried on as styling features (an excuse to add chrome) rather than out of any functional requirement.

^ I love this! I know some cruiser riders I want to share this with. Not to sound like a proponent of ageism in any way, but my GF pointed out that cruisers have a very "old-man bike" vibe. Let that marinate in your brain for a few minutes and you'll find it hard to refute. Cruisers are very much so a "traditionalist" bike. Unfortunately, without a refined or matured rider, they can also look a bit trashy/tacky, giving off a wanna-be biker vibe.

[az_slynch]

Here's my list...

1.) Future champion of what? getting ripped off by buying cheap chinese crap? I had no idea that stickers made a scooter go faster!

Only bargain-basement import tuner kids belive that stickers add horsepower.

The truth is, blasting the Crazy Frog cover of Axel F on your portable music player while riding probably works better.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k85mRPqv ... creen&NR=1