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Discussion of Genuine Scooters and Anything Scooter Related

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Piedmont
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Post by Piedmont »

Personally, I spent my commute this morning calculationg how long it would take me to get out of debt and start a self sustainable farm business. Forget the zombies.

As for the weaponry, I would think that sawed off shotguns using buckshot would have sufficient scatter to be usable left handed. Also molotov cocktails.
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Post by DennisD »

Leftys are tired of being ridiculed and are the truly creative among you uhh I mean us. Perhaps it is they...
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Post by polianarchy »

Hmmm....

Armored kevlar clothes & helmet & other riding gear: is it Zombie bite repellent? Can the amped-up 28 Days zombies catch up with us on our scooters? Would relocation even be an issue, what with our current modes of rapid transit? CAN ZOMBIES DRIVE?!

My weapon of choice would be a machete or some kind of battle ax or sword. Ammunition does eventually run out, indeed. Now, is there a correlation between ammo & peak oil? Will we need to build A Bigger Boat, in other words?

I don't trust the military/industrial complex, nor the survivalist reactionaries spawned in its wake. It's all up to me, my scooter, and my blade.
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Post by bunny »

I imagine whatever skills they had before being zombie-fied would transfer after the transformation...
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Post by bunny »

We shall move to the thumb part of Land O'Cheese. Or the mitten. Whichever area has room for all of us AND our various scooters.

We should immediately trounce upon and infiltrate the WalMart as employees. That way when the strike comes, we will know our way around in the dark. We could practice our "codes" over the intercom system while we're at it.

Hey! We could fake sales numbers on hunting and fishing gear so we could get even MORE hunting and fishing gear stocked.

In the meantime, we could fortify said WalMart for our survival purposes by stashing canned goods and propane tanks and grills in the back as well. Zombies will surely understand the properties of electricity and heat, so it would pay to be prepared. We could also reinforce the outer walls and doors (oh...and those skylights, too!) so as to be able to lock it down in case of emergency. Create a revolving password for those unfortunate to be off the day of the strike so we can let them in.

Having such a haven prepared will ensure survival of our consumerist souls.
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Post by ericalm »

polianarchy wrote:CAN ZOMBIES DRIVE?!
If so, can they be trained to do menial tasks? Like at the end of Shaun of the Dead? Can we have them working in sweatshops, mowing my yard and cleaning the pool? How about housework?

Or do I have to wait for geneticists to develop an underclass of subhumans to do all that stuff for me? :twisted:

All of you worried about zombies are really just displacing fears about global warming, right? Or the nanotech grey goo that's going to consume all matter on the planet? Or a quickly mutating supervirus with no cure? Or a European fusion reaction experiment going horribly awry? Right?
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Post by madtolive »

this thread has thoroughly exhausted me. :(
sunil: "And if you spend 40 dollars making a pizza then you sir are a retard."
ericalm: "No name calling, please. Maybe he's using truffles and top-grade meats."
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Post by bunny »

madtolive wrote:this thread has thoroughly exhausted me. :(
You started it... :wink:
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Post by madtolive »

ericalm wrote:
polianarchy wrote:CAN ZOMBIES DRIVE?!
If so, can they be trained to do menial tasks? Like at the end of Shaun of the Dead? Can we have them working in sweatshops, mowing my yard and cleaning the pool? How about housework?

Or do I have to wait for geneticists to develop an underclass of subhumans to do all that stuff for me? :twisted:

All of you worried about zombies are really just displacing fears about global warming, right? Or the nanotech grey goo that's going to consume all matter on the planet? Or a quickly mutating supervirus with no cure? Or a European fusion reaction experiment going horribly awry? Right?
apparently it can be done...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fido_(film)
sunil: "And if you spend 40 dollars making a pizza then you sir are a retard."
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Post by bunny »

Ah yessssssssssss. I remember that movie. It was absolutely hilarious. Netflix it if you haven't already seen it...

And to get even further OT: isn't Netflix one of the greatest ideas? So completely green (let's not discuss the mail trucks, k?). I love it!
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Post by pugbuddy »

Once again I stand by my assertion that fortifying a WalMart offers the greatest chance for survival.
I stand by my assertion that Wal-Mart is not the place to be during the impending Zombie Appocalypse. The Zombies will simply break through all the glass windows to get in! Worse, the aisles are so cramped with consumer goods that it would be easy to be ambushed by the Z horde. Not good. We need some place a bit more pre-fortified: less windows, more walls.

FIDO ROCKS! If we can figure out the "control collar" then we may have a chance to domesticate the zombies as slaves and train them to do things like change the oil on our Buddys!
Armored kevlar clothes & helmet & other riding gear: is it Zombie bite repellent? Can the amped-up 28 Days zombies catch up with us on our scooters? My weapon of choice would be a machete or some kind of battle ax or sword
Definitely will need to be good stuff to ward off amped up bite of the zombies, but it's out there! A sword or machete would be a good back-up weapon but you want ranged destruction to keep them out of biting range!

Must go scoot! Practice my swerves so I can ride through the approaching hordes....
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Post by Piedmont »

Few places have as few windows as Walmart.
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Post by KRUSTYburger »

Ok, after perusing this lengthy thread, I feel there is still something that needs to be addressed. That would be whether or not zombies can swim... Sure most of them will have a strong aversion to water already (as one of their creepy rabid tendencies). However, if no zombies can swim, that pretty much solves the problem right? Crate 'em & ship 'em off!!!

Also,
I can totally take out 28 of those buggers... probably has to do with my moshing experience level. :twisted:
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Post by ericalm »

bunny wrote:And to get even further OT: isn't Netflix one of the greatest ideas? So completely green (let's not discuss the mail trucks, k?). I love it!
Since upgrading my cable to digital with a gazillion channels, DVr and on demand movies, my Netflix rentals have dropped to, well... I've had the same one for like a year or something like that.

I really need to check out the Netflix downloading/streaming service, though the selection isn't as good as the mail service (yet). Maybe I need Apple TV, too... hmm...

Oh, yeah—zombies! They are annoying. But there are scarier things out there.
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Post by kazoo »

bunny wrote:'madtolive' glanced at quickly resembles MadOlive

ergo

pissed off dirty martini
:lol: Thats Excellent. Is Olive is a prude?

I guess I have to know what kind of dirty you mean. :? Oh no, I think I'm more confused. Thanks for the laugh anyway.
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Post by Ronin »

In reference as to whether or not zombies can swim... I think that even if they can not swim, this brings to mind Land of the Dead where the zombies simply walked into the water down to the bottom of the canal, sea, water area (whatever it truly was) and then right back up to land.

If they don't need to breathe, then we to be concerned about water! Our poor scoots can't drive on water and we could have a suprise attack mounted against us in the dead of night if we are on an island!

I say that we need to quickly develop an island that will be able to float in the air!! A man-made land mass that we can live comfortably til the end of our days.

If we are able to make this land mass manueverable, then we can take the island down out of the sky closer to the ground and systematically take back the land that the zombies have taken over.

As far as weapons for scooters (in the event that we are stuck on land), I'm all about going old school and get into Jousting! Our scoots can go fast enough that we can simply impale the zombies and ride like the wind far away. Ammo would be an issue though.... hmmm...
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Post by KRUSTYburger »

You make some good suggestions Ronin, but I still don't really know about the walking under water deal. If they have to breathe, they'll drown underwater and if they are just walking corpses they would naturally float from the gases put off by their decaying flesh... y'know... jus sayin. So I guess if they float then we need the flying island after all. Really I just talked myself in a big circle didn't I? I'm confused. I've been going to bed at 9:30pm lately cuz I wake up at 4:30am! So it's passed my bedtime, but I'm off tomorrow, so I doesn't matter. SOrry, rambling incoherently...
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Post by pugbuddy »

Ok, after perusing this lengthy thread, I feel there is still something that needs to be addressed. That would be whether or not zombies can swim... Sure most of them will have a strong aversion to water already (as one of their creepy rabid tendencies). However, if no zombies can swim, that pretty much solves the problem right? Crate 'em & ship 'em off!!!
Zombies may be able to swim, depending on what kind we are inevitabley faced with after "the event" (whatever it may be). They can certainly walk underwater without a problem and pull themselves up to a boat via the anchor chain!

However, my sister made a good point tonight at dinner (Scoot group)--if there is an Apocalypse--and we all know there will be--then Sharks will survive it (cuz Sharks survive EVERYTHING). So if the Zombies start walking or swimming out into the ocean, they will be nothing more than mobile chum--plenty of blood to attract a massive shark feeding frenzy--which should be enough to keep us safe!

Unfortunately, no matter how safe we are on the water (and there are other possible problems associated with being out to sea), we'll eventually need to go ashore to restock our provisions.

Here's another issue: what if the zombies aren't human? If humans survive but animals of all kinds become zombies and begin hunting us, what problems that would cause! I think animal zombies would be much more dangerous than human zombies.
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Post by Apiarist »

madtolive wrote: in terms of weaponry while riding i think we are considerably hindered in that the throttle is our right hand. i seriously doubt i could shoot a gun with my left hand. any suggestions?
a sling somewhere in front of you with the end of a 12 gauge in it in a sort of perpetual aimed-out-in-front-of-you sort of way. the butt of the gun could be under your left arm. imo using shot instead of bullets will yield better results considering a left-hand application.
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Post by Alix B »

bunny wrote:I'd like to interject that I think of a pissed off dirty martini whenever I glance at your name...
Exactly. I've meant to say that for some time now. Well done.
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Post by Alix B »

MikieTaps wrote:I think the raffel was for a seat cover, not mad's scoot. I would definately enter a raffel for zombie blood tho!
Well, maybe everyone should petition Phil Mccaleb for some finale like that. I would charge more than $5 for it though and ALL proceeds would be split btw charities.

For now, you can pizzaaz up your scoot with a splendid seat cover, no matter what scoot you have-Zombie, Vampire or Human. And only $5 to enter.

C'mn MikieTaps thats worth it!!!
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Post by addictionriot »

I'm sure doing that would raise a ton of money :) but for now I bought a ticket for the cover ;)
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Post by Alix B »

Yesssss.....

I guess I could have pulled a gag on Madtolive and auctioned her scooter. Maybe the photo should have been with her topless on it, something like this photo of Chelsea.

http://2strokebuzz.com/index.php?p=2243

I'm sure I would get more invites to spend the night...
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Post by ericalm »

Hilarious. We should start a "topless scooterists" thread in the Gallery.
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Zobmies don't breath

Post by donajgra »

According to the book "World War Z," zombies don't need to breath because they are dead. Becoming a zombie is like a cell being taken over by a virus. The host body propagates the virus to more hosts and then is eventually destroyed.

Therefore, neither climbing a tree or going in a boat to the middle of a lake would be a good option. You would really need to be in a submarine to have any real protection.

On a different note, did you guys read that scathing buddy review in "Smart Money" this month? I swear they hired the worst person to do those reviews, the only scooters he liked were more than 500cc.
Last edited by donajgra on Fri Jun 20, 2008 2:59 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Post by madtolive »

pugbuddy wrote: However, my sister made a good point tonight at dinner (Scoot group)--if there is an Apocalypse--and we all know there will be--then Sharks will survive it (cuz Sharks survive EVERYTHING). So if the Zombies start walking or swimming out into the ocean, they will be nothing more than mobile chum--plenty of blood to attract a massive shark feeding frenzy--which should be enough to keep us safe!

Unfortunately, no matter how safe we are on the water (and there are other possible problems associated with being out to sea), we'll eventually need to go ashore to restock our provisions.

Here's another issue: what if the zombies aren't human? If humans survive but animals of all kinds become zombies and begin hunting us, what problems that would cause! I think animal zombies would be much more dangerous than human zombies.
shark vs. zombie you say? that also has been done. peruse this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hSPG9QQg4C0
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Post by madtolive »

Alix B wrote:Yesssss.....

I guess I could have pulled a gag on Madtolive and auctioned her scooter. Maybe the photo should have been with her topless on it, something like this photo of Chelsea.

http://2strokebuzz.com/index.php?p=2243

I'm sure I would get more invites to spend the night...
ines is already under threat of being raffled. if we wipe out again, it's straight to the pound with her. i won't have any scooter of mine causing me to take a tumble. nobody makes me bleed my own blood.

as for being photographed topless on my scooter, dream on, ladies and gents. that would be ruinous to my senatorial career.
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Post by KRUSTYburger »

madtolive wrote:shark vs. zombie you say? that also has been done.
In reality, if that shark was hungry, he would've eaten the zombie. Also, I don't care if you're a zombie or not, human jaws wouldn't be able to bite through shark skin. But, if zombies don't have blood, the sharks wouldn't be interested in them anyway since their feeding is based almost entirely on smell...
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Post by madtolive »

zombies have bood. it's seafoam green.
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Post by KRUSTYburger »

madtolive wrote:zombies have bood. it's seafoam green.
yeah, but does it *TASTE* like regular blood?
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Post by pugbuddy »

ines is already under threat of being raffled. if we wipe out again, it's straight to the pound with her. i won't have any scooter of mine causing me to take a tumble. nobody makes me bleed my own blood.
Geez! You wiped out again? Sorry to hear it. Your zombie scoot is trying to convert you!
as for being photographed topless on my scooter, dream on, ladies and gents. that would be ruinous to my senatorial career.
Not in New York or California, I don't think. And we'd think the world of you! :wink: :twisted:
yeah, but does it *TASTE* like regular blood?
You betcha! And Sharks aren't picky eaters anyway--they eat anything!
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Post by madtolive »

she's only done it once. once is enough. knock on wood.

as for lady elected officials - i do hope they get their freak on as much as the men. i bet they're just much smarter about it. go on witcho bad selves, girlfriends!

but uhm, oh yeah. zombies. they're scary. we must prepare!
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Post by Elm Creek Smith »

madtolive wrote:in terms of weaponry while riding i think we are considerably hindered in that the throttle is our right hand. i seriously doubt i could shoot a gun with my left hand. any suggestions?
Practice, practice, practice. About 35% of my pistol range time is left hand only. I'm not as fast on the draw left-handed, but I'm just as accurate. In Cowboy Action Shooting I compete in Frontier Cartridge (black powder) Duelist using the "double duelist" style (one pistol at a time shooting the left pistol with the left and and the right pistol with the right hand).

Get one of those grip exercisers and work your left hand.

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Post by illnoise »

I totally stole the "topless" idea from that dumb british magazine VIZ, I was at this cool newsstand in Chicago that has newspapers and magazines from around the world and the VIZ cover said "Free Poster: THE SPICE GIRLS, TOPLESS." and of course I had to look…
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Post by MikieTaps »

it worked on me :oops:
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Post by MikieTaps »

*BUMP*

this is to educate this new young generation of Buddy riders all about some of the history of zombie threads on Mb.com :D

Enjoy... :D
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Post by BeetleGoose »

OK, I'll play this game.

When zombies attack!!!

1: I thought "28 Days Later" zombies were actually not zombies at all. I thought they were just people driven to kill because of the rage virus. I don't recall any of them tearing the flesh or brains off anyone. Good movie though and I hope to see the sequel.

2: I would pick the tree over the lake idea as long as it is a giant redwood. I would build a small fort at the very top and just have alot of chainsaws rigged around the base of the floorboards so that I can cut the hands off any of these damn dirty zombies trying to get up. Let's see them try to get up with a stump for a hand! Of course, with all the gas I'll be saving on the Buddy, I'll be able to stockpile on the gas for the chainsaws.

3: Weapon of choice - on foot: shotgun on the right, chainsaw on the left. on Buddy: bolos attached to the each end of the handlegrips and a high-strength cable attached on one end to the rear of the scooter and the other end to a cannonball. Coiled around the cable to the cannonball is barbed wire. Drive around them just slinging the cannonball/barbed wire and cutting them with the bolos every time they get close. Maybe not such a good idea with the cannonball though since if it catches enough of them, I might go nowhere with the scooter. Then I'd be dead meat.
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Post by greencountry »

Has anyone pointed out these two books?

http://www.amazon.com/Zombie-Survival-G ... 961&sr=8-1

http://www.amazon.com/World-War-Z-Histo ... 961&sr=8-2

I have only read the second but can attest to the quality and credibility of the accounts in it. Among other things, that book ends the debate from page 1 of this thread about zombies being able to walk underwater because they do not need to breathe. Therefore, being on a boat is pretty much like being in a tree, though a very tall tree. Get too close to the shoreline though, and any zombie underneath your boat can reach up and tip it over or grab you. And if anyone on your boat is infected and doesn't know or is hiding it, you're really in deep water.
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Post by madtolive »

i saw this tattoo on a body modification blog i read, i just thought i'd share it. and what better place than the original zombie thread? it's called the Zombie Clause:

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i think it's a good idea. between reanimation and being shot in the face, personally, i'd choose the latter.


p.s. i wouldn't call it a nightmare per se, but last night i had a dream about thread hijacking on this forum, and it made me feel anxious. and when i woke up, the fourth toe on my left foot was really hurting. i think that's a little odd.
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Post by Ronin »

madtolive wrote: p.s. i wouldn't call it a nightmare per se, but last night i had a dream about thread hijacking on this forum, and it made me feel anxious. and when i woke up, the fourth toe on my left foot was really hurting. i think that's a little odd.
Hmmm.. the big question that I have is how is the sixth toe on your left foot feeling? :shock:

Question 2: do you have a zombunny hanging around your place?
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Post by madtolive »

thankfully, we took care of that toe when i was a kid.

and no, i do not have a zombunny. i'm not friendly to any kind of zombie, lepus or otherwise. with, of course, the exception of ines. she's the only zombie i don't annihilate on sight.
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Post by ericalm »

madtolive wrote:i saw this tattoo on a body modification blog i read, i just thought i'd share it. and what better place than the original zombie thread? it's called the Zombie Clause:

Image


i think it's a good idea. between reanimation and being shot in the face, personally, i'd choose the latter.
Hope he keeps that area shaved. Might be hard to read otherwise.

If he were really concerned about it, he'd have it tattooed again on his chest. And forehead. :twisted:
madtolive wrote:p.s. i wouldn't call it a nightmare per se, but last night i had a dream about thread hijacking on this forum, and it made me feel anxious. and when i woke up, the fourth toe on my left foot was really hurting. i think that's a little odd.
I have that nightmare. It makes my ass hurt. Then I realize—IT'S NOT A DREAM.

Is there something special about that toe? Like it hurts before a storm, or last time you woke up and it hurt you found a hundred dollar bill on the sidewalk? Something like that? Are you a curandera?
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Post by Kaos »

That Tattoo is amazing! Why didn't I think of that one?? I think I know where the contents of my "Next Tattoo Fund" are going ;)
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Post by madtolive »

ericalm wrote:
madtolive wrote:i saw this tattoo on a body modification blog i read, i just thought i'd share it. and what better place than the original zombie thread? it's called the Zombie Clause:

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i think it's a good idea. between reanimation and being shot in the face, personally, i'd choose the latter.
Hope he keeps that area shaved. Might be hard to read otherwise.

If he were really concerned about it, he'd have it tattooed again on his chest. And forehead. :twisted:
madtolive wrote:p.s. i wouldn't call it a nightmare per se, but last night i had a dream about thread hijacking on this forum, and it made me feel anxious. and when i woke up, the fourth toe on my left foot was really hurting. i think that's a little odd.
I have that nightmare. It makes my ass hurt. Then I realize—IT'S NOT A DREAM.

Is there something special about that toe? Like it hurts before a storm, or last time you woke up and it hurt you found a hundred dollar bill on the sidewalk? Something like that? Are you a curandera?
that's the toe that predicts earthquakes. and modern buddy eric beatdowns. the fourth toe on my right foot predicts the winning lotto tickets.

and as for whether or not i'm a curandera...well...thats a very anthropological question that i'm not sure i feel comfortable responding to on this board... what chu know about curanderos, eric? i'm very curious.

and i agree that the owner of this tattoo is a very hairy man. i wonder if he's going to nair himself up so that his tat is always visible. otherwise, what's the point?
sunil: "And if you spend 40 dollars making a pizza then you sir are a retard."
ericalm: "No name calling, please. Maybe he's using truffles and top-grade meats."
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Post by MikieTaps »

That is an awesome tat. I LOVE BMEzine.com That place is awesome! :D
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Post by MikieTaps »

I dont love BMEzine as much as I love this particular thread. It is the best thread on MB EVER. :D
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Post by ericalm »

madtolive wrote:and as for whether or not i'm a curandera...well...thats a very anthropological question that i'm not sure i feel comfortable responding to on this board... what chu know about curanderos, eric? i'm very curious.
I'm from Texas, I know a little about these things. I had a lot of friends who still had families down south and elder relatives who were firm believers. One said when visiting his curandera grandmother in S. Texas, he would wake up at night to find her shaking an egg over his him as he slept. and I know a few people who have had the treatment with the egg in the bowl under their bed. Oddly, this stuff doesn't seem as prevalent in CA. I think this is somehow related to the fact that Mexican food out here sucks. But it's still practiced as far away from the border as Ft. Worth, where you can probably look up curanderos in the phone book. Or just go to one of those cool/creepy Catholic "gift shops" on the North Side. I heard about what goes on in the backs of those places.
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Post by madtolive »

ericalm wrote:
madtolive wrote:and as for whether or not i'm a curandera...well...thats a very anthropological question that i'm not sure i feel comfortable responding to on this board... what chu know about curanderos, eric? i'm very curious.
I'm from Texas, I know a little about these things. I had a lot of friends who still had families down south and elder relatives who were firm believers. One said when visiting his curandera grandmother in S. Texas, he would wake up at night to find her shaking an egg over his him as he slept. and I know a few people who have had the treatment with the egg in the bowl under their bed. Oddly, this stuff doesn't seem as prevalent in CA. I think this is somehow related to the fact that Mexican food out here sucks. But it's still practiced as far away from the border as Ft. Worth, where you can probably look up curanderos in the phone book. Or just go to one of those cool/creepy Catholic "gift shops" on the North Side. I heard about what goes on in the backs of those places.
ah, yes, the inevitable egg...

you get the egg treatment when you come down with a mysterious ailment that doesn't seem to have a known cause. if something like that happens, it's chalked up to "el mal de ojo" (often mis-translated as "the evil eye"). put simply, when someone concentrates on a very cute kid, or your great new haircut, or anything that caught their attention that they concentrate on, often that concentration imbues that person with excess energy - energy that can be taken back by simply touching the admired. if, however, this physical taking back of the energy does not occur, the person affected will usually get a headache, or suffer from exhaustion and even vomiting.

the remedy to el mal de ojo is "sweeping" the person's body with an egg while praying. it is thought that the egg will absorb the excess energy, and after the "cleansing" is done, it is broken into a bowl filled with water and laid placed under the bed at the headboard as the person sleeps.

this is a small remedy that female caretakers can easily provide. which is why "are you a curandera?" is a difficult question to answer. in reality, anyone with a predisposition towards healing can be a curandera or curandero - to varying degrees.

and that, my friends, is "curing el mal de ojo as practiced in northern mexico and south texas 101". tune in next time for "curing empacho".
sunil: "And if you spend 40 dollars making a pizza then you sir are a retard."
ericalm: "No name calling, please. Maybe he's using truffles and top-grade meats."
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Post by hackett »

There's a clothing company here in San Antonio that sells a <a href=http://www.shopinka.com/index.asp?PageA ... 2>relevant t-shirt</a>
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Post by MikieTaps »

HAHAHAHA awesome shirt!!!

Now would the egg work on a zombie to make them... not a zombie...

And that tattoo got me thinking... If getting turned into a zombie is called reanimation... when you kill a zombie, is it redeanimation? or dereanimation?
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