Argh, freaking birds are out for me blood!

alienmeatsack · Post by **alienmeatsack** » Thu Jun 12, 2008 4:48 am

This evening, I went down to Lola's to meet some friends for a birthday dinner. When we came out, there was a huge flock of (no, not seagulls) starlings going nuts all over the place. And my scoot was parked under some trees. Nothing on the seat or grips, but the cowls and other spots got hit. Then, my left hand gets it! Casualties in the field! Medic! (drama inserted here) I had enough and moved myself and scoot away from the trees to say goodbye and head home and such... thinking the worst was over. But it wasn't.

Fast forward a few minutes... I am sitting at a traffic light waiting to turn onto Denver, no trees anywhere to be found. I look up and see a stream of those damned birds, who now are forming up for an attack, and sure enough, they form a 2x line and fly right over me and splat, they got my helmet again. Then splat, they got the back of my seat. And then SPLAT they got my right hand. I was like "WTFudge!", took off, and then the absolute worst happened. I got it in my mouth and lip! I pulled over, cleaned it up using some napkins in the glovebox of my hand and visor, spit and did the "patewie" thing about 10 times, put on my GLO GLOVs and headed off, feeling crippled and abused.

When I got home, I found several more bird bombs on the helmet, one on my shirt, and 2 on the front of the scoot.

I called my friend to tell him how the war went and he of course thought it was funny that I was attacked.

I dont know why, I never harmed any birds except turkeys and chickens who I eat. Heck, I even let some bird and his girlfriend live in the shade on my back porch for a while.

I know, it could have been worse, but, bird poop on my hands, helmet, and clothes is just wrong. And then, in my mouth and on my lip, them's fighting words.

So beware birds, I am gunning for you. I am going to get you, cluckers.

addictionriot · Post by **addictionriot** » Thu Jun 12, 2008 5:28 am

Thats exciting. Sorry I missed that one.

I havent been crapped on yet but birds seem to fly right in front of my scooter all the time. They either fly into the street right in front of me or right at my headlight. Grrr

heavypetting · Post by **heavypetting** » Thu Jun 12, 2008 6:05 am

Supposed to mean good luck. Although, in your case, not so much.

gymnation · Post by **gymnation** » Thu Jun 12, 2008 2:10 pm

KRUSTYburger · Post by **KRUSTYburger** » Thu Jun 12, 2008 3:44 pm

At least it was just poo... I heard somebody was riding their M/C and a bird swooped down in front of them and hit him in the chest! The beak was lodged in his sternum and had to be SURGICALLY REMOVED!!! insane.

Still it's very odd that you would have so much trouble all in the same day... they're organized I tell ya!

alienmeatsack · Post by **alienmeatsack** » Thu Jun 12, 2008 3:50 pm

They are definitely organized, and out for blood.

Good luck? Not sure how it's good luck to randomly get pooped on my birds, but I will take all the luck I can get

djelliott · Post by **djelliott** » Thu Jun 12, 2008 4:49 pm

WOW! I haven't experienced the birds yet, but I've taken a few Japanese beetles to the face mask. Those little armor platted, marble sized bastards make quite a thud.

DJE

schlagle · Post by **schlagle** » Thu Jun 12, 2008 6:01 pm

I've been riding for over 15 years and have NEVER been pooped on. I could tell a lot of other crazy stories but that's for another thread.

Note to self: Never ride with alienmeatsack

alienmeatsack · Post by **alienmeatsack** » Thu Jun 12, 2008 6:23 pm

We discussed my bird-poop-a-thon at lunch and everyone thought it was funny.

I didn't at the time, but it's fun to laugh about it now.

All I know is, it was really hard not to freak out and gag before I pulled the scoot over to wipe it off my mouth and spit a bit.

EP_scoot · Post by **EP_scoot** » Thu Jun 12, 2008 7:50 pm

I have never been pooped on, but back when I had my Vespa P200 was riding at about 40-ish when this swallow flew low in front of me, went up and started a circle and on the way down from the top of the circle the damn bird was intent in closing his circle, except I was going to collide with him if he kept the same trajectory.

Well, the swallow did keep his intended path of travel and it flew UNDER the floorboard of the Vespa in BETWEEN the 2 wheels. I thought I was going to hit it and when it flew right under me I was so freaking out I almost crashed just turning my head following this crack addicted bird's death wish. Neither of us crashed, but shit, that was flipping crazy bird shit.

That was over 25 years ago and still super vivid in my mind it was that freaky.

Birds and I have been good pals since !

ScootingInTheRain · Post by **ScootingInTheRain** » Thu Jun 12, 2008 7:57 pm

This is the exact reason for a full-face helmet.

(Oh, and the other obvious benefits of course...)

xtetra · Post by **xtetra** » Fri Jun 13, 2008 6:28 pm

I had a kamakaze bird fly into my face shield/side of my helmet one fall when I was on my motorcycle doing about 65. I sort of felt like that was a bad omen of some kind, but I'm still kicking. Don't think the bird is though.

Got strafed by a couple of Canadian Geese once back when I had a pickup, they musta had the runs b/c my windshield was completely covered. Luckily, I was sitting in line at the dump and not moving. Kinda appropriate timing I guess. It amused the lookers on though.

....sorry they are after you though. At least it was a smallish bird, Geese crap is like having a couple of small soggy egg rolls coming your way!

scoots4me · Post by **scoots4me** » Fri Jun 13, 2008 9:04 pm

Hey alienmeatsack - good news! Look what I found on msn.com today: http://a-list.msn.com/

You got a facial! Just think of it as a facial!

alienmeatsack · Post by **alienmeatsack** » Fri Jun 13, 2008 9:17 pm

Wow, people are just about as dumb as rocks when it comes to putting crap on and in their face aren't they?

First it's "Lets inject POISON IN OUR FACE!" and now it's bird crap.

I hope I don't get a bill from the birds for my facial. :p